Biden campaign strategy
1. Replace photos of Biden in all campaign literature with photos of puppies and kittens.
2. Ask to have the election postponed by a month then force-feed Biden until he can fit into a Santa Claus suit, so he’ll look the part when he promises us free this, that and the other thing.
3. Claim Biden has laryngitis from now until Election Day so what Lincoln said about fools and keeping their mouths shut won’t be a problem.
4. Print $20 bills with Harriet Tubman’s face on them in order to make up the difference between Biden’s campaign chest and what Trump is raising.
5. Sew Biden’s hands in his pockets so they won’t go wandering down dresses and blouses.
6. Campaign for the electoral vote in all of Obama’s 57 states.
7. Send Hunter on an indefinite foreign fact-finding trip and hope the Republicans forget about him.
8. Avoid taking the knee as much as possible so the campaign won’t have to worry about getting him back up.
9. Catch Covid-19 and hope for the sympathy vote.
10. When all else fails send in BLM to burn down the polling places
1. Replace photos of Biden in all campaign literature with photos of puppies and kittens.
2. Ask to have the election postponed by a month then force-feed Biden until he can fit into a Santa Claus suit, so he’ll look the part when he promises us free this, that and the other thing.
3. Claim Biden has laryngitis from now until Election Day so what Lincoln said about fools and keeping their mouths shut won’t be a problem.
4. Print $20 bills with Harriet Tubman’s face on them in order to make up the difference between Biden’s campaign chest and what Trump is raising.
5. Sew Biden’s hands in his pockets so they won’t go wandering down dresses and blouses.
6. Campaign for the electoral vote in all of Obama’s 57 states.
7. Send Hunter on an indefinite foreign fact-finding trip and hope the Republicans forget about him.
8. Avoid taking the knee as much as possible so the campaign won’t have to worry about getting him back up.
9. Catch Covid-19 and hope for the sympathy vote.
10. When all else fails send in BLM to burn down the polling places