jocularity
- Thread starter kidoggy
- Start date
In their later years, the Lone Ranger and Tonto were catching up on old times. After awhile the Lone Ranger paused and said “I have some sad news.”
“Tell me, old friend” said the faithful Tonto.
“Well...I recently was diagnosed with Cancer”
“Bad spirits,” replied his old companion.
The Lone Ranger look off into the distance for a minute. “After all your years of wisdom, what do you think I should do?”
“Chemo, sabe”
“Tell me, old friend” said the faithful Tonto.
“Well...I recently was diagnosed with Cancer”
“Bad spirits,” replied his old companion.
The Lone Ranger look off into the distance for a minute. “After all your years of wisdom, what do you think I should do?”
“Chemo, sabe”
James T Kirk had his annual checkup, While he was there, he asked Bones how long he thought the pandemic would last.
Bones replied, " Damnit jim! How should I know; I'm a doctor, not a politician!"
Bones replied, " Damnit jim! How should I know; I'm a doctor, not a politician!"
JimP
Administrator
The rioting in major cities across the U.S. has spread to The Villages, Florida, a retirement community of 100,000.
Looters in Florida’s friendliest hometown have especially broken into stores that sell items like laxatives, vitamins, hearing aids, reading glasses, energy drinks and surgical stockings.
The thugs were easily caught and arrested since they were using their walkers and golf carts to flee.
The protests have been limited to the evening hours because most of the lawbreakers either had doctor’s appointments during the day or rioting would have interfered with their naps.
The marches didn’t last that long because many of the demonstrators had to get home to pee.
In many cases, the demonstrators simply forgot why they were even there.
Officials considered a curfew starting at 9 p.m. but since that’s the time when most of the residents go to bed anyway, it was decided that it wasn’t needed.
Community leaders concluded that part of the problem was that residents were restless because they had too much time on their hands since the recreation centers, pools, theaters, boutique stores and especially the bars were closed due to the coronavirus.
Community officials wanted to form a committee to look further into the problem, but the next day no one could remember why they needed a committee.
Looters in Florida’s friendliest hometown have especially broken into stores that sell items like laxatives, vitamins, hearing aids, reading glasses, energy drinks and surgical stockings.
The thugs were easily caught and arrested since they were using their walkers and golf carts to flee.
The protests have been limited to the evening hours because most of the lawbreakers either had doctor’s appointments during the day or rioting would have interfered with their naps.
The marches didn’t last that long because many of the demonstrators had to get home to pee.
In many cases, the demonstrators simply forgot why they were even there.
Officials considered a curfew starting at 9 p.m. but since that’s the time when most of the residents go to bed anyway, it was decided that it wasn’t needed.
Community leaders concluded that part of the problem was that residents were restless because they had too much time on their hands since the recreation centers, pools, theaters, boutique stores and especially the bars were closed due to the coronavirus.
Community officials wanted to form a committee to look further into the problem, but the next day no one could remember why they needed a committee.
An old French guy goes into the confessional box
After years of being away from the Church.
He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down.
There’s a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby.
And on the wall a fine photographic display of various women who appear to have misplaced their garments.
He hears a priest come in. “Father, forgive I think its been a while since I’ve been to confession and to be sure I must say that the confessional box is much better than it used to be.
The priest replies, “Get out, you idiot. You’re on my side!”
After years of being away from the Church.
He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down.
There’s a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby.
And on the wall a fine photographic display of various women who appear to have misplaced their garments.
He hears a priest come in. “Father, forgive I think its been a while since I’ve been to confession and to be sure I must say that the confessional box is much better than it used to be.
The priest replies, “Get out, you idiot. You’re on my side!”
Last year, I got a sweater for Christmas.
I really wanted a screamer or a moaner. female would have also been nice!
just because I am an XXXL doesn't mean my gift needs to be!
I really wanted a screamer or a moaner. female would have also been nice!
just because I am an XXXL doesn't mean my gift needs to be!
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My son, who is into astronomy, asked me how stars die.
Usually by overdosing, I told him.
Usually by overdosing, I told him.