jocularity

[kidoggy]

President Biden decides it is time to do some public relations at a local Washington DC nursing home.
The President begins his "tour" down the main hallway and passes by a little old man who doesn't seem to notice him.
Sensing this, President B backtracks to the resident and asks, "Do you know who I am?"
The little old man looks up from his walker and says, "No, but if you go to the front desk, they will tell you your name."

 

[kidoggy]

Russia has been cut off from CNN, CBS,

ABC Pornhub, Facebook...
US is working depriving Russians of McDonalds, Coca-Cola and US fastfood. They continue with these sanctions and Russian people will probably be the most healthiest, well adjusted, spiritual and well informed people on the planet

 

[kidoggy]

I just watched a documentary on marijuana

I think all documentaries should be watched this way.

 

[kidoggy]

A salesman walks down a beach...

...and finds a brass lamp in the sand. He picks it up, dusts it off and, as usual, a genie pops out and offers him three wishes.

Being a salesman he tries to bargain, "Make it four."

The genie replies, "Granted, you have three left."

 

[kidoggy]

I was walking down the street when I noticed

this guy pickpocket a dwarf. I thought, "How could anyone stoop so low?"

 

[kidoggy]

I have grown old and weary and decided it is time to retire.

IT has been my pleasure to hopefully spread some cheer now and again, but it is time to go.

to all of Eastman's forum members
live, love and HUNT!

have a Happy and blessed new year and many, many more!

 

[El Serio]

I have grown old and weary and decided it is time to retire.

IT has been my pleasure to hopefully spread some cheer now and again, but it is time to go.

to all of Eastman's forum members
live, love and HUNT!

have a Happy and blessed new year and many, many more!

You will be missed. It has been a morning routine for me for the past several years to check this thread and see what joke(s) you have posted.

 

[ScottR]

I have grown old and weary and decided it is time to retire.

IT has been my pleasure to hopefully spread some cheer now and again, but it is time to go.

to all of Eastman's forum members
live, love and HUNT!

have a Happy and blessed new year and many, many more!

What????? This was and is my favorite thread to check when I need a chuckle. @kidoggy this can't be real!

 

[idcwby]

So a kindergarten teacher was walking around and observing her classroom of children.. while they were drawing pictures. As she got to one girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

 

[idcwby]

Police

A policeman spotted a man staggering down the street around 3am, unsteady on his feet, wearing just one shoe, and very obviously drunk. "Good evening sir, would you mind stepping over here for a moment, please?" the policeman asked. Haltingly, the man came over to the policer officer. "Gooodsh evening occifer, whass the trouble?" "Well," the officer began, "it seems you're not quite in any condition to be walking along in this area this late at night. Are you heading anywhere in particular?" "Why yesshh," the man replied, "I'm on my way to attend a lecshture in a few minutes about the evilsh of drinking, gambling, drinking and gambling, and staying up all hoursh of the night." Intrigued, the police officer asked, "You mean you're heading to attend that lecture right now?" The man nodded. "And it's being given at this late hour, and you're going in that condition?" The man nodded again. Disbelieving now, the policeman asked, "Who is going to be awake at this late hour and willing to give you such a lecture after seeing you in that condition?" The man replied, "My wife."

 

[87TT]

A man is accused of murder. He looks to get a lawyer. The first he looks at offers to defend him for a hundred dollars. He can’t be too good the man thinks.
The next lawyer says he can defend him for a thousand. That sounds better the man thought, but continued to shop. The third he asked charged ten thousand for a murder defense.
I’ll go with him he must be good to charge so much.
He was convicted and sentenced to death. As he was led to the death chamber he saw the first lawyer in the witnesses. The lawyer smiles real big and says, ‘don’t you feel like an idiot? I could have got you the same results for a C note’

 

[El Serio]

 

[87TT]

What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?

Don’t know, don’t care.

 

[87TT]

Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly. One student said to his friend: "I'm sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that."
The other student says: "No, I don't think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome. He walks slowly and his legs are apart, just as we learned in class."
Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached him and one of the students said to him, "We're medical students and couldn't help but notice the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?"
The old man said, "I'll tell you, but first you tell me what you two fine medical students think."
The first student said, "I think it's Peltry Syndrome."
The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong."
The other student said, "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome."
The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong." So they asked him, "Well, old timer, what do you have?"
The old man said, "I thought it was gas - but I was wrong, too!"

 

[El Serio]

What did the buffalo say when he dropped his kid off at school? Bye son.

 

[El Serio]

 

[idcwby]

Gun Control has already started at Bass Pro Sporting Goods Store. There was a bit of confusion at the Bass Pro Sporting Goods store this morning. When I was ready to pay for my purchases of gun powder and bullets... The cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."

"Making a mental note to complain to the NRA about the gun control wackos running amuck, I did just as she had instructed. When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card-reader. I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future. They need to make their instructions a little clearer!


I STILL DON'T THINK I LOOKED THAT BAD.

 

[El Serio]

How many of Jesus’s wives does it take to change a light bulb?

Nun

 

[idcwby]

Two Workers

Two workers - one big and strong, the other small and weak - are on a building site. The small chap says "I bet you $20 that I can push something to the end of the yard in my wheelbarrow and you won't be able to push the same thing back." "You're on," says the big guy. "Righto," says the small fellow, "Jump in."

 

[El Serio]

What did the fish say when it ran into a wall?
Dam!

What did the wall say when a fish ran into it?
Dumb bass!