I am certain there is no life on other planets.
if there was, we would be sending them foreign aid.
if there was, we would be sending them foreign aid.
jocularity
- Thread starter kidoggy
- Start date
Mr Drysdale
Active Member
- Mar 24, 2013
- 404
- 309
where do bad rainbows go?
prism. it is a light sentence and gives them time to reflect.
prism. it is a light sentence and gives them time to reflect.
Hilltop
Veteran member
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet…
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.
Sick
"Can you have a look at him," he says,
"I think he's cross-eyed".
So the vet picks up the dog and examines him.
"I'm going to have to put him down," says the vet.
"Why, just because he's cross eyed?"
"No," says the vet, "because he's heavy!"
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.
Sick
"Can you have a look at him," he says,
"I think he's cross-eyed".
So the vet picks up the dog and examines him.
"I'm going to have to put him down," says the vet.
"Why, just because he's cross eyed?"
"No," says the vet, "because he's heavy!"
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year outside of Buffalo, New York scientists found traces of copper cable dating back 120 years. They came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.
Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, a Wheeling WV archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet somewhere just outside Woodsdale. Shortly after, a story in the The Intelligencer read, "WV archaeologists, reporting a finding of 200 year old copper cable, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers.
One week later, a local newspaper in Barton Ohio reported the following: "After digging down about 30 feet deep in his pasture near the community of Hell’s Kitchen, Pete Riley, a hell of an engineer and a self-taught archaeologist and gynecologist reported that he found absolutely nothing. Riley has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Ohio had already gone wireless."
Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, a Wheeling WV archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet somewhere just outside Woodsdale. Shortly after, a story in the The Intelligencer read, "WV archaeologists, reporting a finding of 200 year old copper cable, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers.
One week later, a local newspaper in Barton Ohio reported the following: "After digging down about 30 feet deep in his pasture near the community of Hell’s Kitchen, Pete Riley, a hell of an engineer and a self-taught archaeologist and gynecologist reported that he found absolutely nothing. Riley has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Ohio had already gone wireless."
A stunning woman approached me today and said, " I have been feeling lonely lately."
I told her, "You should start a small business."
"Then you will have a little company."
I told her, "You should start a small business."
"Then you will have a little company."
We received about 20 inches of snow this week. So……….
8:00 am: I made a snowman.
8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.
8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified women everywhere.
8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it should have been two snowmen instead.
8:22 - The transgender man / woman / person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.
8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and are not to be used to decorate snow figures.
8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
8:30 - I used food coloring to make one of the snow couple a different color and be more racially inclusive.
8:37 - Then I was accused of using a black face on the snowperson.
8:39 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be completely covered.
8:40 - The police arrived saying someone had been offended.
8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
8:43 - The 'council on equality' officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
8:45 - TV news crew from ABC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs?" and am now a sexist.
9:00 - I was on the news as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe, and sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.
9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything, marched down the street demanding that I be arrested.
9:45 - The boss called and fired me because of the negative association with work that had been all over social media
10:00 - I cry into my drink because all I wanted to do was build a snowman...
Moral: There ain't no moral to this story. It is what this world has become because of a bunch of snowflakes.
8:00 am: I made a snowman.
8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.
8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified women everywhere.
8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it should have been two snowmen instead.
8:22 - The transgender man / woman / person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.
8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and are not to be used to decorate snow figures.
8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
8:30 - I used food coloring to make one of the snow couple a different color and be more racially inclusive.
8:37 - Then I was accused of using a black face on the snowperson.
8:39 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be completely covered.
8:40 - The police arrived saying someone had been offended.
8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.
8:43 - The 'council on equality' officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.
8:45 - TV news crew from ABC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs?" and am now a sexist.
9:00 - I was on the news as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe, and sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.
9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.
9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything, marched down the street demanding that I be arrested.
9:45 - The boss called and fired me because of the negative association with work that had been all over social media
10:00 - I cry into my drink because all I wanted to do was build a snowman...
Moral: There ain't no moral to this story. It is what this world has become because of a bunch of snowflakes.