jocularity
- Thread starter kidoggy
- Start date
Last September my wife asked me to put a load in the dishwasher.
So long story short, happy Father's Day to me.
Breaking news....
California heat wave putting extreme demand on its power grid.
Power Companies and politicians warn of possible brown/black outs.
On an "unrelated" note, politicians doing all they can to encourage all Californians to buy electric cars.
California heat wave putting extreme demand on its power grid.
Power Companies and politicians warn of possible brown/black outs.
On an "unrelated" note, politicians doing all they can to encourage all Californians to buy electric cars.
On the night of their honeymoon...
...just before the passionate love making begins, the wife tells her new husband, "Please be gentle with me; I'm still a virgin."
"What?" he questions. "What do you mean, you're still a virgin? How can that be? You've been married three times before!"
"Well," she starts, "my first husband, he was a gynecologist, and all he wanted to do was look at it. My second husband was a psychologist, and all he wanted to do was talk about it. And my third husband was a stamp collector, and all he wanted to do was... Gosh, I really do miss him."
...just before the passionate love making begins, the wife tells her new husband, "Please be gentle with me; I'm still a virgin."
"What?" he questions. "What do you mean, you're still a virgin? How can that be? You've been married three times before!"
"Well," she starts, "my first husband, he was a gynecologist, and all he wanted to do was look at it. My second husband was a psychologist, and all he wanted to do was talk about it. And my third husband was a stamp collector, and all he wanted to do was... Gosh, I really do miss him."
Gavin Newsom is now running ads in Florida...
and other states where people
can still turn on their televisions.
and other states where people
can still turn on their televisions.
A man goes to the dentist
to ask how much it would be to pull a tooth.
“$100,” said the dentist.
“Oh, that’s expensive,” said the main. “Do you have anything cheaper?”
“That’s the normal price for an extraction,” said the dentist.
The man thinks about it, “what about if you don’t use the anesthetic?”
“Well, that would be unusual, but we could do that. It would be about $75.”
The man thinks some more.
“What about if you used a trainee and no anesthetic?”
“Well,” said the dentist,” I think that could work, but it would be a lot more painful. I think that would be about $35.”
The man thought some more.
“That’s still a lot. What if you make it a training session with a student doing the extraction, and the other students can watch?”
The dentist says, “Ok, that would be good for the students, but it will be traumatic to have it done that way. I’ll charge you $5 for that.”
“Great,” said the man. “That’s perfect. Can I book my wife for her appointment on Wednesday?
to ask how much it would be to pull a tooth.
“$100,” said the dentist.
“Oh, that’s expensive,” said the main. “Do you have anything cheaper?”
“That’s the normal price for an extraction,” said the dentist.
The man thinks about it, “what about if you don’t use the anesthetic?”
“Well, that would be unusual, but we could do that. It would be about $75.”
The man thinks some more.
“What about if you used a trainee and no anesthetic?”
“Well,” said the dentist,” I think that could work, but it would be a lot more painful. I think that would be about $35.”
The man thought some more.
“That’s still a lot. What if you make it a training session with a student doing the extraction, and the other students can watch?”
The dentist says, “Ok, that would be good for the students, but it will be traumatic to have it done that way. I’ll charge you $5 for that.”
“Great,” said the man. “That’s perfect. Can I book my wife for her appointment on Wednesday?
A woman called her blonde neighbor and said: "Listen, mister! Close your curtains the next time you and your wife are making love. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."
To which the man replied: "Well the joke's on all of you because I wasn't even home yesterday."
To which the man replied: "Well the joke's on all of you because I wasn't even home yesterday."
Husband is...
...walking behind his wife and says, "Baby, your butt is getting so big it's starting to look like an old washing machine."
The woman stays quiet and keeps on walking.
Bedtime comes around and the husband starts getting amorous.
The wife says, "I'm not starting the old washing machine for such a small load; you'll have to do it by hand."
...walking behind his wife and says, "Baby, your butt is getting so big it's starting to look like an old washing machine."
The woman stays quiet and keeps on walking.
Bedtime comes around and the husband starts getting amorous.
The wife says, "I'm not starting the old washing machine for such a small load; you'll have to do it by hand."
A man brings his best friend home for dinner
unannounced. His wife says, "My hair and makeup aren't done, the house is a mess, the dishes aren't done, I'm still in my PJ's, and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight. Why did you bring him home?"
"Because he's thinking about getting married."
unannounced. His wife says, "My hair and makeup aren't done, the house is a mess, the dishes aren't done, I'm still in my PJ's, and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight. Why did you bring him home?"
"Because he's thinking about getting married."