jocularity

kidoggy

Veteran member
Apr 23, 2016
8,842
9,175
55
idaho
New batwoman movie cancelled

After batwoman wrecks 7 million dollar batmobile backing out of batcave.
 

kidoggy

Veteran member
Apr 23, 2016
8,842
9,175
55
idaho
A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”

The first blonde answers, “That’s easy, we’ll catch him fast because he only has one eye!”

The policeman says, “Well…uh…that’s because the picture shows his profile.”

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”

The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, “Ha! He’d be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!”

The policeman angrily responds, “What’s the matter with you two?! Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because it’s a picture of his profile!! Is that the best answer you can come up with?

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?” He quickly adds” . . . think hard before giving me a stupid answer.”

The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, “Hmmmm . . . the suspect wears contact lenses.”

The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn’t know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. “Well, that’s an interesting answer . . . wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I’ll get back to you on that.”

He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect’s file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. “Wow! I can’t believe it…it’s TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?”

“That’s easy,” the blonde replied. “He can’t wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear.
 

kidoggy

Veteran member
Apr 23, 2016
8,842
9,175
55
idaho
A blonde was hired as a physical education

teacher at a local junior high school.

While she was out on the field, one day, she was watching a bunch of students playing. She noticed one kid who was standing by himself at the other end of the field... So, wanting to make sure all the kids were included, she went down the field, to the lonely boy there, and she said...
"You know, it's okay if you want to join in with the rest of the kids..."

The boys said...
"I can't... I have to stay here"

The blonde was a little confused, but repeated...
"You really can go where the other kids are..."

But, again, the boy retorted... "No, I can't... I have to stay here..."

Completely frustrated with this kids lack of desire to join with the other kids, she demanded... "Really?!? Tell me why you don't want to join the others!"

Finally, the boy responded... "Because I'm the goalie..."
 
  • Like
Reactions: jmwyoming

kidoggy

Veteran member
Apr 23, 2016
8,842
9,175
55
idaho
The dean of a conservative college was mad that boys kept entering the girls' dorm.... He called a general assembly and said:
"It is unacceptable for anyone to enter the dormitory of the opposite sex! If anyone is caught doing this from now on, it will result in a $100 fine for the first offence. If the same individual is caught a second time, the fine is $500, and for a third offence, the fine is $1000! Does anyone have any questions?"
A male student in the back immediately raised his hand and asked: "Sir, how much for a subscription?"
 

kidoggy

Veteran member
Apr 23, 2016
8,842
9,175
55
idaho

Mike, Ike, and Stan were on a multi-day fishing


outing, staying at the Olde Log Inn. Stan decides to take a nature hike and ends up missing for two days. When he turns up at a local hospital, beaten to a pulp, Mike and Ike rush to see what happened. According to Stan, he became lost and wandered around for hours when he happened upon a parked car. He saw what appeared to be people in the back seat. The last thing he remembers was sticking his head through the window and asking, "How far is the Olde Log Inn?"
 

kidoggy

Veteran member
Apr 23, 2016
8,842
9,175
55
idaho
My neighbor is a 90-year-old with Alzheimer's.

I see him every morning and he asks me If I've seen his wife. Every day I have to tell this poor man that his wife died 20 years ago. I could have moved to another house or even ignore his question. But the look of joy in his eyes when I tell him this is worth the effort.
 

kidoggy

Veteran member
Apr 23, 2016
8,842
9,175
55
idaho
Wife: Let’s go out and have fun tonight!

Husband: Okay but, if you get back before me, leave the light on.
 

kidoggy

Veteran member
Apr 23, 2016
8,842
9,175
55
idaho
The wife found a cockroach in the kitchen. She thoroughly cleaned and sanitized the entire kitchen, cupboards and all.

Tomorrow I'm putting a cockroach in the bathroom
 

kidoggy

Veteran member
Apr 23, 2016
8,842
9,175
55
idaho
Dear God, please send clothes to all those poor ladies on Papa Jo's computer.
Thank you God,
Ashley Biden.
 

kidoggy

Veteran member
Apr 23, 2016
8,842
9,175
55
idaho
I started a new job as a security guard last night.

Before my boss left, he told me I had to make sure I watched the office all night.

I am on season 2 already, but I don't know what it has to do with security.
 
  • Like
Reactions: El Serio