jocularity

[kidoggy]

A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son's house. She knocked on the door then immediately walked in.
She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room. "What are you doing?!" she asked.
"I'm waiting for Mike to come home from work," the daughter-in- law answered.
"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.
"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained. "Love dress? But you're naked!"
"Mike loves me and wants me to wear this dress," she explained." It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me".
The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch, waiting for her husband to arrive.
Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"This is my love dress," she whispered sensually.
"Needs ironing"...

 

[JimP]

 

[kidoggy]

a guy, his first time sky diving,

He goes through the classes, then his first jump and as he falls, the parachute will not open
Then to his surprise he sees a man flying up from the ground.
He yells, Do you know anything about parachutes?
The other guy yells back, No, Do you know anything about gas grills?

 

[kidoggy]

............................

 

[dirtclod Az.]

JimP he looks better in the second picture,

 

[kidoggy]

wudda crappy thang ta say

 

[JimP]

Something stinks around here.

 

[kidoggy]

I've came up with a plan to solve world poverty and world hunger in one simple step. Feed the poor to the hungry.

 

[dirtclod Az.]

Sounds like a Crapitation Situation!Building America one log at a time...Lincoln Logs.

 

[kidoggy]

Had a hard life...

i started out with nothing And i got most of it left

 

[kidoggy]

Sounds like a Crapitation Situation!Building America one log at a time...Lincoln Logs.

that bear attack has got bob steamed.




whAT'S THE LAST THING THAT WENT THROUGH BOBS MIND?
MAGGOTTS!

 

[dirtclod Az.]

I think it was corn...Whole kernals.Comes out same way it went in,no matter how well you chew.

 

[JimP]

 

[kidoggy]

My dad use to take me to the circus...

to see the tattooed man and the bearded lady.

Now, I can see them anytime at Walmart.

 

[kidoggy]

When a millennial asks why everyone in old photos has red eyes I tell them they’re too young to remember the great demon uprising of the 1980s

 

[kidoggy]

An Amish girl and her mother were visiting a mall and they were especially amazed by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again with a room inside.
The girl asked, “Mother, what is this?”
The mother, never having seen an elevator before, responded, “I have no idea."
While the girl and her mother watched with amazement, an old man in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button.
After he got in, the walls closed and the numbers counted up and then down. The walls opened up again and a hunky young man stepped out.
The mother, not taking her eyes off the young man, said quietly to her daughter, “Go get your father.”

 

[kidoggy]

I was in bed with this redneck girl when her father, her brother and her boyfriend busted in the room... ....and boy was he mad.

 

[kidoggy]

Ponder this: Plants may be farming us ....??

Think about it. They supply us with oxygen until we all die, then we decompose in the ground and feed them.

 

[JimP]

 

[JimP]