jocularity

kidoggy

Veteran member
Apr 23, 2016
7,127
6,438
54
idaho
A college student wanted to sit next to one of his teachers at lunch.

However, the teacher looked at the student with an arrogant face and said:

‘A swan shan’t be friends with a pig.’

‘Then I shall fly on,’ answered the student with a smile.

The teacher was clearly vexed by the cheeky reply and decided to make sure to do everything in his power to fail the student.

At the oral exam, he gave the student the hardest questions, but the student had amazing answers for everything. Therefore, hoping he could still fail his victim, the teacher asked him a trickier question:

‘You’re walking on a road and you find two bags. One contains gold, the other cleverness. Which bag do you choose?’

‘The gold.’

‘Unfortunately, I don’t agree. I’d choose cleverness because that’s more important than money.’

‘Everyone would choose what they don’t have,’ says the student.

The teacher turns red, and he’s so angry he writes “ass” on the student’s paper. The student leaves without looking at the paper. However, he returns shortly, gives back his paper and says:

‘Excuse me sir, you signed my paper, but you forgot to give me my grade!’
 

kidoggy

Veteran member
Apr 23, 2016
7,127
6,438
54
idaho
beware the electric fart!
it's got a lil juice.


I asked the electrician if he's scared of working with live wires. He said it doesn't phase him.
He knows how to conduct himself.
 

kidoggy

Veteran member
Apr 23, 2016
7,127
6,438
54
idaho
A fireman comes home from work one day and tells his wife, "We have a wonderful system at the fire station: Bell 1 rings, we put on our jackets; Bell 2 rings, we slide down the pole; Bell 3 rings, we're on the trucks.

From now on, we're going to run this house the same way. When I say Bell 1, I want you to strip naked. When I say Bell 2, I want you to jump into bed. When I say Bell 3, we're going to make passionate love."

The next night, the fireman comes home from work and yells, "Bell 1!" His wife takes off her clothes. "Bell 2," and his wife jumps into bed. "Bell 3," and they began to make love.

After two minutes, his wife yells, "Bell 4!" "What's Bell 4?" the husband asks. "More hose," she replies, "you're nowhere near the fire!"
 

kidoggy

Veteran member
Apr 23, 2016
7,127
6,438
54
idaho
Q: What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.
*******
A guy is on his first date with a blonde woman. He asks her a favor, "Stick your head out the window and see if my rear blinker is working on your side."
She rolls down the window, hangs her head out, looks back, and says, "no...YES...no...YES...no...YES."
*******
Three pregnant women, a redhead, a brunette, and a blonde, are in the waiting room of their OB/GYN.
The redhead says, "I was on top so I think I'm having a girl."
Brunette says, "Well, I was on bottom so I guess that means I'm having a boy" and giggles.
The blonde starts crying.
"What's wrong?" the other two ask.
She answers, "I'm gonna have puppies!"
 
  • Like
Reactions: dirtclod Az.

kidoggy

Veteran member
Apr 23, 2016
7,127
6,438
54
idaho
There's English, and then there's English

An aussie man calls emergency services while camping with his wife

Operator: "Emergency services how may we help you mate"

Man: "Please help! me sheila got bitten in her minge by a mozzie and its all swollen and now we can't have sex!"

Operator: "Oh bummer mate..."

Man: "Oh thanks mate never thought of that!" *Hangs up