jocularity

[JimP]

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.
The pharmacist at the counter asked the older boy, 'Son, how old are you?'
'Eight', the boy replied.
The man continued, 'Do you know what these are used for?'
The boy replied, 'Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four."
"Oh, really?" the pharmacist replied with a grin.
"Yes." the boy said. "We saw on TV that if you use these, you would be able to swim, play tennis and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do none of those."

 

[kidoggy]

biden with his entourage in tow

was campaigning in a remote little town in the Appalachians and asked the inhabitants what the Democrat party could do for them.


“We have two big needs,” said the Mayor.. “First, we have a hospital but no doctor.”


biden whipped out his cellphone, spoke for a while and then said: “I have sorted it out. A doctor will arrive here tomorrow. What is your other need?”


“Well sir, we have no cellphone reception at all here in these mountain

 

[JimP]

The Penis Poem–by Willie Nelson



My nookie days are over,

My pilot light is out.

What used to be my sex appeal,

Is now my water spout.

Time was when, on its own accord,

From my trousers it would spring.

But now I’ve got a full time job,

To find the gosh darn thing.

It used to be embarrassing,

The way it would behave.

For every single morning,

It would stand and watch me shave.

Now as old age approaches,

It sure gives me the blues.

To see it hang its little head,

And watch me tie my shoes!!

 

[kidoggy]

AOC is livid at Trump for banning Tic Toc

"How is America going to tell time?"

 

[kidoggy]

For my girlfriend's birthday last year

I bought her a lovely burial plot, in a historic cemetery

This year, she's bitching at me for not buying her a birthday present

I kindly reminded her that she still hasn't used the present I bought her last year..

 

[kidoggy]

A guy on the Oregon Trail made a joke at the expense of Terence, a known outlaw.
He died of dissin' Terry.

 

[kidoggy]

If dealing with Covid isn't political

Why are so many democrats cheering Trump got it?

 

[kidoggy]

A young pastor

was invited over to the home of one of the churchwomen for dinner. He happened to know she was a very bad housekeeper, but was otherwise nice and a member in good standing of his church. He accepted.

Dinner was served and sure enough, he noticed that the plates and silverware seemed less than clean. But he said nothing, and the food was good. Finally, after dinner, he did ask about the condition of the dinnerware as the lady cleared the table.

"Those plates and bowls--were they clean?"

She said: "Yes, as clean as soap and water can get them."

She took the plates into the kitchen. Then he heard her: "Here Soap! Here Water!"

 

[kidoggy]

A cop just knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bikes.

I told him, "My dogs don't even own bikes."

 

[kidoggy]

“Dad, why did you and mom name my sister Teresa?“

“Well son, your mom loves Easter, and Teresa is an anagram of Easter”

“Got it, thanks Dad.”

“Anytime, Alan.”

 

[kidoggy]

I was going to post some oil jokes.....

But they're just too crude.

 

[kidoggy]

A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?

The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess. So the boy asked the stewardess, If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?

The stewardess responded, Did your mother tell you to ask me? The boy admitted that this was the case. Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Your mother can explain that to you.

 

[kidoggy]

Joe Biden says he will create jobs


vote for pedro!

 

[kidoggy]

My buddy is a doctor. When he got a nasty cut, he insisted he'd be able to do his own stitches.
I said, "Fine, suture self."

 

[idcwby]

Florida

Three men are sitting on a bench in their fancy retirement community in Florida Steve says: "I started with a men's clothing shop and built the business into the finest department store in town. One day there was a fire and it destroyed everything. Since I was too old to begin again, I took the insurance money and retired - and here I am." Ben says: "I had a hardware store downtown. It was the finest hardware store in the city. One Friday evening after closing time a pipe burst and flooded the store. On Monday morning I came in to discover that my entire inventory had been ruined. Like you, I was too old to start again, so I took the insurance money and retired down here to Florida." Billy says: "I had a pharmacy in the Midwest. I was very successful, and had seven pharmacists working for me. However, one night a tornado came and picked up my entire store, utterly destroying it. I came the next morning and there was no pharmacy there! I was already a senior citizen so I took the insurance money and moved to Florida." Steve and Ben look utterly confused. After a few moments, Ben asks Billy "Uh...how exactly do you make a tornado?!"

 

[idcwby]

Great Writer

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define 'great' he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for IRS writing tax regulations.

 

[kidoggy]

Secret Service agents did catch the fly that

landed on the VP's head during the debates.

They had their forensic team analyze the fly to make sure it was not a drone.

As they were looking through the microscope, they realized it was Jeff Goldblum.

 

[kidoggy]

From the Beginning of Time

One day God and Adam were walking in the garden. God told Adam it was time to populate the earth.

He told Adam, "Adam, you can start by kissing Eve." Adam replied "God, what is a kiss?"

God told Adam and Adam went and took Eve behind the bush and kissed her. A little while later, Adam came back out with a big smile and said "Wow Lord! That was great!! What next?"

God said, "Adam, I now want you to caress Eve." Adam says, "Lord what is a caress?" God explained it to Adam and he again took her behind the bush.

A little while later, he came out and said "Lord that was even better than a kiss! What next." God said, "Here is what gets the deed done. I now want you to take Eve and make love to her."

Adam said "Lord, what is to make love?" God explained and Adam took Eve behind the bush and a few seconds later came out and said "Lord, what is a headache?"

 

[idcwby]

 

[kidoggy]

Mexican Word of The Day!~

"Believing!"

"Senor Trump will NOT Believing the White House in 2020"