I wonder if he ever went to bed!Someone's up early this am.Good Morning.DC'AZ.
jocularity
- Thread starter kidoggy
- Start date
JimP
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JimP
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I was wondering what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet, so I asked my sixteen brothers and sisters. They had no idea either.
JimP
Administrator
A young farm couple, Homer and Darlene, got married and just couldn't seem to get enough lovin'. In the morning, before Homer left the house for the fields, they made love. When Homer came back from the fields, they made love. And again at bedtime, they made love.
The problem was their nooner; it took Homer a half hour to travel home and another half hour to return to the fields and he just wasn't getting enough work done. Finally Homer asked the town doctor what to do.
"Homer," said the doctor, "just take your rifle out to the field with you and when you're in the mood, fire off a shot into the air. That will be Darlene's signal to come out to you. Then you won't lose any field time."
They tried Doc's advice and it worked well for a while. Homer came back to the doctor's office..
"What's wrong?" asked the Doc. "Didn't my idea work?"
"Oh, it worked real good," said Homer. "Whenever I was in the mood, I fired off a shot like you said and Darlene'd come runnin'. We'd find a secluded place, make love, and then she'd go back home again."
"Good, Homer. So what's the problem?" asked the Doc.
"I ain't seen her since huntin' season started."
The problem was their nooner; it took Homer a half hour to travel home and another half hour to return to the fields and he just wasn't getting enough work done. Finally Homer asked the town doctor what to do.
"Homer," said the doctor, "just take your rifle out to the field with you and when you're in the mood, fire off a shot into the air. That will be Darlene's signal to come out to you. Then you won't lose any field time."
They tried Doc's advice and it worked well for a while. Homer came back to the doctor's office..
"What's wrong?" asked the Doc. "Didn't my idea work?"
"Oh, it worked real good," said Homer. "Whenever I was in the mood, I fired off a shot like you said and Darlene'd come runnin'. We'd find a secluded place, make love, and then she'd go back home again."
"Good, Homer. So what's the problem?" asked the Doc.
"I ain't seen her since huntin' season started."
dirtclod Az.
Veteran member
the wife sayed I fire purty quick to.Thats why I use a semi-aut
JimP
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Work2hunt
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dirtclod Az.
Veteran member
A hunter was rushed into the emergency room with a bear trap clamped onto his testicles. As the horrified doctor was examining him, he said "Man, how did this happen?"
The hunter explains that he was out in the woods and felt the call of nature. Bending down by a tree, the bear trap was triggered and snapped shut on his testicles. "Oh," exclaims the doctor, "The pain must have been excruciating!"
"It was," said the hunter. "The second worst pain in my life."
"Second worst? What could have been worse than that?"
"Coming to the end of the chain" said the hunter.
The hunter explains that he was out in the woods and felt the call of nature. Bending down by a tree, the bear trap was triggered and snapped shut on his testicles. "Oh," exclaims the doctor, "The pain must have been excruciating!"
"It was," said the hunter. "The second worst pain in my life."
"Second worst? What could have been worse than that?"
"Coming to the end of the chain" said the hunter.
JimP
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JimP
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dirtclod Az.
Veteran member
Two guys at a bar
Guy #1: Shows guy #2 a photo of his wife and kids and asks, "What about you? Are you married?"
Guy #2: "Nope. Widowed. Twice."
Guy #1: "I'm sorry. How'd that happen?"
Guy #2: "First wife died from eating poison mushrooms."
Guy #1: "That's terrible. What about your second wife?"
Guy #2: "She died of blunt force trauma."
Guy #1: "How did that come about?"
Guy #2: "She refused to eat her mushrooms."
Guy #1: Shows guy #2 a photo of his wife and kids and asks, "What about you? Are you married?"
Guy #2: "Nope. Widowed. Twice."
Guy #1: "I'm sorry. How'd that happen?"
Guy #2: "First wife died from eating poison mushrooms."
Guy #1: "That's terrible. What about your second wife?"
Guy #2: "She died of blunt force trauma."
Guy #1: "How did that come about?"
Guy #2: "She refused to eat her mushrooms."
Team Kabob
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- May 9, 2014
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