Prerylyon
Veteran member
Its good to have a few of these G-rated ones in the back pocket for when I'm running the scout mtgs!
jocularity
- Thread starter kidoggy
- Start date
Prerylyon
Veteran member
dirtclod Az.
Veteran member
The latest telephone poll taken by the California Governor's office asked whether people who live in California think illegal immigration is a serious problem:
29% of respondents answered: "Yes, it is a serious problem."
71% of respondents answered: "No es un problema serio."
29% of respondents answered: "Yes, it is a serious problem."
71% of respondents answered: "No es un problema serio."
When you’re dressed all in black and some smart ass asks you who died, simply look around the room and say,
“I haven’t decided yet.”
“I haven’t decided yet.”
JimP
Administrator
the one time it might be worth being a liberal..... nah.... I'd rather be a zombie.
Just returned a pair of Nike shoes to the store.
When they asked me why I said "They hurt my feet when I stand for the National Anthem."
When they asked me why I said "They hurt my feet when I stand for the National Anthem."
FOR SALE:
Complete set of encyclopedia Britannica.
45 Volumes. Excellent condition.
$100 or best offer.
Reason for sale: No longer needed.
Got married last weekend.
Wife knows everything.
Complete set of encyclopedia Britannica.
45 Volumes. Excellent condition.
$100 or best offer.
Reason for sale: No longer needed.
Got married last weekend.
Wife knows everything.
JimP
Administrator
JimP
Administrator
JimP
Administrator
65 year old man goes in for a physical. Dr. says he is in good shape but wants some family history.
Dr. asks, "how long did your father live?" Man replies, "who said my father is dead ?He is out turkey hunting right now. Right where I want to be."
Dr. replies, "OK, OK, How long did your Grandpa live to be?" Man replies, "Who said my Grandpa is dead? He is out hunting with my dad, where I would like to be."
Dr. replies, "OK, OK, OK, How long did your Great Grandpa live? Man replies, "who said my Great Grandpa is dead? He isn't turkey hunting because he just got married."
Dr. asks, "Why would a man of that advanced age want to get married?" Man replies, "Who said he wanted to get married?'
Dr. asks, "how long did your father live?" Man replies, "who said my father is dead ?He is out turkey hunting right now. Right where I want to be."
Dr. replies, "OK, OK, How long did your Grandpa live to be?" Man replies, "Who said my Grandpa is dead? He is out hunting with my dad, where I would like to be."
Dr. replies, "OK, OK, OK, How long did your Great Grandpa live? Man replies, "who said my Great Grandpa is dead? He isn't turkey hunting because he just got married."
Dr. asks, "Why would a man of that advanced age want to get married?" Man replies, "Who said he wanted to get married?'
Prerylyon
Veteran member
Two young nuns in full garb are seen at the liquor store perusing the whiskey aisle. They grab a big bottle of Yukon Jack and head to the counter to pay.
The wide-eyed store owner glares at them, rolling his eyes. The two Sisters pipe up: "It's for Mother Superior's constipation" "Oh" Says the proprietor "That's OK then"
After closing, as he is locking up he notices the nuns, flat on their @$$, drunk as hell, sitting in the gutter. "Now Sisters you said that was for the Mother Superior's constipation". "It is" one of them slurs "And when she sees us she's gonna
".
The wide-eyed store owner glares at them, rolling his eyes. The two Sisters pipe up: "It's for Mother Superior's constipation" "Oh" Says the proprietor "That's OK then"
After closing, as he is locking up he notices the nuns, flat on their @$$, drunk as hell, sitting in the gutter. "Now Sisters you said that was for the Mother Superior's constipation". "It is" one of them slurs "And when she sees us she's gonna
".
JimP
Administrator
who ever built a ocean front city below sea level and filled it
with liberals, is a genius!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
with liberals, is a genius!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I threw an Asian man down a flight of stairs.
It was Wong on so many levels.
It was Wong on so many levels.
Three highly decorated police officers die in a wild shoot out with narcotics dealers and go to heaven.
God greets them and asks, "When you are laid out in your casket, and your fellow officers and family are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say about you? The first cop says, "I would like to hear them say, that I was the bravest cop on the force." The second police officer says, "I would like to hear that I was a terrific cop who died in the line of duty." The last cop replies, "I would like to hear them say ... Look, He's Moving!"
God greets them and asks, "When you are laid out in your casket, and your fellow officers and family are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say about you? The first cop says, "I would like to hear them say, that I was the bravest cop on the force." The second police officer says, "I would like to hear that I was a terrific cop who died in the line of duty." The last cop replies, "I would like to hear them say ... Look, He's Moving!"