My girlfriend told me women are better at multitasking than men.
So I told her to sit down and shut up.
Guess what...
She couldn't do either!
So I told her to sit down and shut up.
Guess what...
She couldn't do either!
jocularity
- Thread starter kidoggy
- Start date
I watched a naked woman do stand--up comedy.
Never laughed so hard in my life.
Never laughed so hard in my life.
Warning !
Always take lettuce from the top of the stack.........................or heads will roll.
Always take lettuce from the top of the stack.........................or heads will roll.
mallardsx2
Veteran member
- Jul 8, 2015
- 3,814
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I had to go to the Dr. this morning to get my yearly physical and my new doctor asked me if there was anything weighing heavily on my mind.
I chuckled and said "Have you seen whats going on in the world lately? "
She got a good chuckle out of that. Then marked something on her paper. lol
Then as she was walking out of the room she asked me if I had "any other concerns?"
I said "Well, Yes, I am highly concerned that Joe Biden will live long enough to get a chance at a second term.."
She got a good chuckle out of that too. lol
I chuckled and said "Have you seen whats going on in the world lately? "
She got a good chuckle out of that. Then marked something on her paper. lol
Then as she was walking out of the room she asked me if I had "any other concerns?"
I said "Well, Yes, I am highly concerned that Joe Biden will live long enough to get a chance at a second term.."
She got a good chuckle out of that too. lol
dirtclod Az.
Veteran member
When I was applying for Australian citizenship
the interviewer asked, “Do you have a criminal record?”
I said, “No. Is that still required?”
the interviewer asked, “Do you have a criminal record?”
I said, “No. Is that still required?”
mexcan Word of the Day: "bodywash"
jobama was on TV today, but no bodywash him.
jobama was on TV today, but no bodywash him.
Several elderly nuns were in their second floor
convent one night when a fire broke out.
They took their habits off, tied them together to make a rope, and climbed out the window.
After they were safely on the ground and out of the building, a news reporter came over to one of the nuns and said to her, "Weren't you afraid that the habits could have ripped or broken since they are old?"
The nun replied, "Not really, you know, old habits are hard to break!"
convent one night when a fire broke out.
They took their habits off, tied them together to make a rope, and climbed out the window.
After they were safely on the ground and out of the building, a news reporter came over to one of the nuns and said to her, "Weren't you afraid that the habits could have ripped or broken since they are old?"
The nun replied, "Not really, you know, old habits are hard to break!"
arrived early to the restaurant and the manager asked, "Do you mind waiting a bit?"
I replied, "Not at all."
"Good," he said, "Take these drinks to table nine."
I replied, "Not at all."
"Good," he said, "Take these drinks to table nine."
I'm selling pies out of my car
$8.00 for Apple, $10.00 for lemon.
These are the pie rates of the car I be in.
$8.00 for Apple, $10.00 for lemon.
These are the pie rates of the car I be in.
What do you do if you see a lawyer drowning ?
A- go to lunch
or
B- read a newspaper
A- go to lunch
or
B- read a newspaper
Took my 4yr old Granddaughter to Walmart
Yesterday, my wife asked me to run to Walmart and pick up another Instapot as ours had died. We happened to have our 4yr old granddaugher for the day and she insisted she had to go with Grandpa to the store.
Masks weren't required there so i wasn't wearing one. We walked to the housewares section and as we passed the pots and pans my granddaugher shouted, "Quick, you have to put on your mask!" I told her it was okay, I didn't need one. She said, 'Yes you do!"
Then she shouted while pointing to the large frying pan on display next to me, "There's a Pan Dammit! Mommy says we need to wear a mask when there's a Pan Dammit'.
Yesterday, my wife asked me to run to Walmart and pick up another Instapot as ours had died. We happened to have our 4yr old granddaugher for the day and she insisted she had to go with Grandpa to the store.
Masks weren't required there so i wasn't wearing one. We walked to the housewares section and as we passed the pots and pans my granddaugher shouted, "Quick, you have to put on your mask!" I told her it was okay, I didn't need one. She said, 'Yes you do!"
Then she shouted while pointing to the large frying pan on display next to me, "There's a Pan Dammit! Mommy says we need to wear a mask when there's a Pan Dammit'.