jocularity

[kidoggy]

Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two week vacation to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary.

Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines are about to fail and we will have to attempt an emergency landing."

"Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach."

Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.

The pilot then announces "Odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!"

An hour later Abe turns to his wife and asks, "Esther, did we pay our $5,000 PBS pledge check yet?"

No, sweetheart," she responds.

Abe, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, "Esther, did we pay our American Express card yet?"

"Oh, no! I'm sorry. I forgot to send the check," she says.

"One last thing, Esther. Did you remember to send checks for the Visa and MasterCard this month?" he asks.

"Oh, forgive me, Abie," begged Esther. "I didn't send that one, either."

Abe grabs her and gives her the biggest kiss in 50 years.

Esther pulls away and asks him, "What was that for?"

Abe answers, "They'll find us!"

 

[87TT]

Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two week vacation to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary.

Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines are about to fail and we will have to attempt an emergency landing."

"Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach."

Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.

The pilot then announces "Odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!"

An hour later Abe turns to his wife and asks, "Esther, did we pay our $5,000 PBS pledge check yet?"

No, sweetheart," she responds.

Abe, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, "Esther, did we pay our American Express card yet?"

"Oh, no! I'm sorry. I forgot to send the check," she says.

"One last thing, Esther. Did you remember to send checks for the Visa and MasterCard this month?" he asks.

"Oh, forgive me, Abie," begged Esther. "I didn't send that one, either."

Abe grabs her and gives her the biggest kiss in 50 years.

Esther pulls away and asks him, "What was that for?"

Abe answers, "They'll find us!"

And someone should be calling about your car warranty soon.

 

[kidoggy]

I went to a McDonald's today, and ate a Kid's Meal.
It was good, but his mom was furious!

 

[kidoggy]

Taliban’s first draft of a new Women’s Bill of Rights:

The right to remain silent.

The right to equal employment inside the home with the other wives.

The right of freedom of movement. Again, inside the home.

The right to free healthcare that is on par with the best veterinary care in the country.

The right to an education in Islam.

The right to be married to whichever brave Taliban fighter chooses them.

The right to bear children and raise them up to defend the Islamic Emirate.

The right to marry at any age.

The right to choose the color of their burqa.

The right to be seen in public, so long as they are fully covered and in the presence of their husband.

The right to speak freely with other women about how to take care of the house and raise children.

The right to have only one hand chopped off as a warning in cases of minor infractions.

The right to trial by husband.

 

[kidoggy]

Another Dr Seuss book being banned!

"If you were born with a Dick, you can't be a Chick"

Being pulled from Library shelves and book stores across the nation.

WHEN WILL THIS MADNESS END!

 

[kidoggy]

who has better pull out control???
china joe or hunter?

 

[kidoggy]

There's a new cult out there that worships

testicles............................................................they're sacreligious

 

[kidoggy]

I don't eat meat for religious reasons.

I eat it for the taste.

 

[kidoggy]

Biden declares victory in Afghanistan

15,000 Trump supporters trapped by Taliban.

 

[kidoggy]

Hear about the blond couple who died at the drive-in?

they froze to death waiting to see "Closed for the Season".

 

[kidoggy]

I tortured a guy from PETA.

He screamed for deer life.

 

[kidoggy]

What is it with young, female doctors?

They see me for a prostate exam, and they don't even get their hair done!

 

[kidoggy]

Worse Than the China Virus

is the "Woke Virus"

The variances just keep coming:

Global Warming (Mutated to Climate Change)

One World Order (Mutated to Open Borders)

Equal Rights (Mutated to Racism/Critical Race Theory and Perversion/Transgenderism)

Voting Rights (Mutated to Rigged Elections)

Slow the Spread (Mutated to 2 Years of Panic and Hysteria)

Green New Deal (Mutated to Infrastructure)

Liberalism (Mutated to Marxism/Communism)

There are many more, but the Worse of All:

bath house berry (Mutated to joebama)

 

[kidoggy]

my brother and his wife were blessed with two children.
danise and danephew.

 

[kidoggy]

if biden had any honor he would piss off hillary !

but everyone should have expected this from joe . botched pullouts are his forte!
(hunter)

 

[kidoggy]

common sense is not a gift.
it's a punishment.

because you have to deal with all the people that have none.

 

[kidoggy]

Wife: "I love these movies where you need a tissue at the end."
Me: "Me too."

 

[kidoggy]

Cross a Mexican with an octopus. The result?

I don't know but it sure can pick tomatoes.

 

[kidoggy]

Not trying to sound like a conspiracy theorist..

but isn't it a little suspicious these hurricanes keep happening in alphabetical order??

 

[JimP]