jocularity
- Thread starter kidoggy
- Start date
It was a very tight Christmas for one family.
The father told his small son that he could only have one small gift. The little boy said, “I want a Mickey Mouse hat.” That year he got the hat he wanted.
The next year was again very bad and the child was told that he could only choose one gift. The little boy said, “I want a Mickey Mouse shirt.” He got the shirt.
The third year was much better. The father told his son that Christmas that he could have whatever he wanted. The excited little boy shouted, “I want a Mickey Mouse outfit.”
So his dad bought him the Dallas Cowboys.
The father told his small son that he could only have one small gift. The little boy said, “I want a Mickey Mouse hat.” That year he got the hat he wanted.
The next year was again very bad and the child was told that he could only choose one gift. The little boy said, “I want a Mickey Mouse shirt.” He got the shirt.
The third year was much better. The father told his son that Christmas that he could have whatever he wanted. The excited little boy shouted, “I want a Mickey Mouse outfit.”
So his dad bought him the Dallas Cowboys.
Bonecollector
Veteran member
Recently someone was browsing through the 40th Anniversary Issue of Reader's Digest (dated Feb. 1962), came across this reprint from the Washington News and found it quite interesting considering our current debates!
The Quote:
Vice President Lyndon Johnson received the following message from an Indian (Native American) on a reservation:
"Be careful with your immigration laws. We were careless with ours."
The Quote:
Vice President Lyndon Johnson received the following message from an Indian (Native American) on a reservation:
"Be careful with your immigration laws. We were careless with ours."
Prerylyon
Veteran member
If you're surprised Epstein killed himself ………...
imagine how surprised HE was!
imagine how surprised HE was!
seven most misused words in the English language
To
Too
Two
Their
There
They're
And
Racist
To
Too
Two
Their
There
They're
And
Racist
Pro tip:
Never explain to your wife that it's the washer and dryer that actually does the laundry.
Never explain to your wife that it's the washer and dryer that actually does the laundry.
The nurse asked a patient to remove his clothing and put on a gown to be checked by the doctor.
"In..in front of you?" He mumbles, shy.
The nurse says: "Don't worry, I've seen the naked human body before. The man said, "Not one like mine. You'd die laughing at my naked body."
"Of course I won't laugh!" said the nurse to the patient, "I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient."
"Okay then," said the patient, and he proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing a huge male body with the smallest adult male organ the nurse had ever seen in her life. In length and width it was almost identical to a AAA battery.
The nurse unable to control herself tried to stop a giggle, but it just came out.
And then she started laughing at the fact that she was laughing. Feeling very badly that she had laughed at the man's private part, she composed herself as well as she could.
"I am so sorry," she said, "I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a Nurse and a lady, I promise that it won't happen again. Now, tell me, what seems to be the problem?"
"It's swollen," Bob replied.
She ran out of the room.
"In..in front of you?" He mumbles, shy.
The nurse says: "Don't worry, I've seen the naked human body before. The man said, "Not one like mine. You'd die laughing at my naked body."
"Of course I won't laugh!" said the nurse to the patient, "I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient."
"Okay then," said the patient, and he proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing a huge male body with the smallest adult male organ the nurse had ever seen in her life. In length and width it was almost identical to a AAA battery.
The nurse unable to control herself tried to stop a giggle, but it just came out.
And then she started laughing at the fact that she was laughing. Feeling very badly that she had laughed at the man's private part, she composed herself as well as she could.
"I am so sorry," she said, "I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a Nurse and a lady, I promise that it won't happen again. Now, tell me, what seems to be the problem?"
"It's swollen," Bob replied.
She ran out of the room.
I can't believe California hasn't figured out
that all they have to do is ban wildfires
that all they have to do is ban wildfires
JimP
Administrator
JimP
Administrator
JimP
Administrator
Monica Lewinsky turned 46 last month.
Can you believe it? It seems like only yesterday she was crawling around the White House on her hands and knees, and putting everything in her mouth.
Can you believe it? It seems like only yesterday she was crawling around the White House on her hands and knees, and putting everything in her mouth.
An angel appears in a puff of smoke to a man and says to him, "Because you have lived a good and virtuous life, I can offer you a gift: you can be the most handsome man in the world, or you can have infinite wisdom, or you can have limitless wealth." Reflecting, the man says, "I'll take the wisdom"
"Wisdom is yours," says the angel, disappearing in another puff. The smoke is barely clear before the man thinks, "I should have taken the money."
"Wisdom is yours," says the angel, disappearing in another puff. The smoke is barely clear before the man thinks, "I should have taken the money."
