jocularity
- Thread starter kidoggy
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JimP
Administrator
I’m dating this wonderful girl and she has a twin.
People often ask me how I can tell them apart.
In all fairness it’s really easy and fun when asked, especially since I enjoy messing with peoples heads. I usually just say "Jane likes to paint her fingernails and Tom has a willie."
People often ask me how I can tell them apart.
In all fairness it’s really easy and fun when asked, especially since I enjoy messing with peoples heads. I usually just say "Jane likes to paint her fingernails and Tom has a willie."
Hilltop
Veteran member
A professor at Wayne State University in Detroit was giving a lecture on Paranormal Studies. To get a feel for his audience, he asks, "How many people here believe in ghosts?"
About 90 students raise their hands.
"Well, that's a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?"
About 40 students raise their hands.
"That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?"
About 15 students raise their hand.
"Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?"
Three students raise their hands.
"That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further...Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?"
Way in the back, Hamad raises his hand.
The professor takes off his glasses and says, "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."
The student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium. When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, "So, Hamad, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost?"
Hamad replied, "Shoot, from way back there I thought you said Goats."
About 90 students raise their hands.
"Well, that's a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?"
About 40 students raise their hands.
"That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?"
About 15 students raise their hand.
"Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?"
Three students raise their hands.
"That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further...Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?"
Way in the back, Hamad raises his hand.
The professor takes off his glasses and says, "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."
The student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium. When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, "So, Hamad, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost?"
Hamad replied, "Shoot, from way back there I thought you said Goats."
JimP
Administrator
Eight-year-old Sally brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good...mostly A's and a couple of B's.
However, her teacher had written across the bottom: "Sally is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit."
Sally's dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back: "Please let me know if your idea works on Sally because I would like to try it out on her mother."
However, her teacher had written across the bottom: "Sally is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit."
Sally's dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back: "Please let me know if your idea works on Sally because I would like to try it out on her mother."
JimP
Administrator
JimP
Administrator
JimP
Administrator
I said to my boss, "I need to leave early, I'm going to be a father!"
"Of course", he replied. "Take the afternoon off!"
When I returned to work the next day, my boss came to my desk, "Well, how'd it go? Is it a boy or a girl?"
"I dunno, I'll tell you in 9 months."
"Of course", he replied. "Take the afternoon off!"
When I returned to work the next day, my boss came to my desk, "Well, how'd it go? Is it a boy or a girl?"
"I dunno, I'll tell you in 9 months."
Guy hands his daughter his last child support payment to give to her mother
He tells her daughter, "Tell your mother this is the last payment and watch the look on her face"
The daughter hands the check to her mother and says, "Dad said this is the last payment and watch the look on your face"
Mother takes the check and tells her daughter, "Well tell your father you're not his kid and watch the look on his face"
He tells her daughter, "Tell your mother this is the last payment and watch the look on her face"
The daughter hands the check to her mother and says, "Dad said this is the last payment and watch the look on your face"
Mother takes the check and tells her daughter, "Well tell your father you're not his kid and watch the look on his face"
JimP
Administrator
JimP
Administrator
The teacher was trying to get her seventh-grade history class to understand how the Indians must have felt when they first encountered the Spanish explorers. "How would you feel," she asked, "if someone showed up on your doorstep who looked very different, spoke a strange language and wore unusual clothes? Wouldn't you be a bit scared?"
"Nah," one boy answered, "I'd just figure it was my sister's date."
"Nah," one boy answered, "I'd just figure it was my sister's date."
JimP
Administrator
dirtclod Az.
Veteran member
