jocularity
- Thread starter kidoggy
- Start date
Dark Mavis
Active Member
JimP
Administrator
dirtclod Az.
Veteran member
Since everyone is out Dove hunting this am. I'll throw a few out there...
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.I don't know what he laced them with,but I been trippin' all day.
My boss told me to have a good day,so I went home.
P.S. Started my Dove hunt last night with 8 Urasian Doves..Back at it Sun, morning.
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.I don't know what he laced them with,but I been trippin' all day.
My boss told me to have a good day,so I went home.
P.S. Started my Dove hunt last night with 8 Urasian Doves..Back at it Sun, morning.
I got snipe, guess that makes me a hunter or a jokester.
anyone wanna go snipe huntin tonight , you can hold the bag and I'LL shoo em to ya.
A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, says she'll see him later and walks away. His wife glares at him and asks "Who the hell was that?" The husband answers "Oh, she's my mistress."
The wife angrily says "Well, that's the last straw, I've had enough, and I want a divorce." He replies "I can understand that but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Rolls Royce’s and Ferrari's in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours."
Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm and the wife asks "Who's that woman with Jim?" The husband tells her "That's his mistress." She quips "Well, ours is prettier."…
The wife angrily says "Well, that's the last straw, I've had enough, and I want a divorce." He replies "I can understand that but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Rolls Royce’s and Ferrari's in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours."
Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm and the wife asks "Who's that woman with Jim?" The husband tells her "That's his mistress." She quips "Well, ours is prettier."…
Two friends are talking...
"Look, I have this thing going," says John. "I fell in love with our pastor's wife so we're having an affair. I haven't seen her for few days and I'm urging to do so. Could you be a buddy and keep our pastor occupied this afternoon while I... go do the thing?"
His friend, Bill, reluctantly agrees. It's a sin he's agreed to help to commit. He goes to pastor and starts asking all sorts of random questions. He tries and tries, but pastor happens to be a wise man who sees that Bill is not sincere.
So, after sweating a bit, Bill confesses. That yes, he's just delaying the pastor from going home because his friend John is bedding pastor's wife.
Pastor scratches his head a bit. Doesn't even get angry.
"Bill," he says, "my wife's been dead for two years. There's no reason to keep me occupied... But if I were you, I'd run home really quick right now...!"
"Look, I have this thing going," says John. "I fell in love with our pastor's wife so we're having an affair. I haven't seen her for few days and I'm urging to do so. Could you be a buddy and keep our pastor occupied this afternoon while I... go do the thing?"
His friend, Bill, reluctantly agrees. It's a sin he's agreed to help to commit. He goes to pastor and starts asking all sorts of random questions. He tries and tries, but pastor happens to be a wise man who sees that Bill is not sincere.
So, after sweating a bit, Bill confesses. That yes, he's just delaying the pastor from going home because his friend John is bedding pastor's wife.
Pastor scratches his head a bit. Doesn't even get angry.
"Bill," he says, "my wife's been dead for two years. There's no reason to keep me occupied... But if I were you, I'd run home really quick right now...!"
AP - Monica Lewinsky, in a statement released today, "I have had enough. This whole experience has left a bitter taste in my mouth, and I can't stomach any more. I feel as if I am getting the shaft, that this ugly matter has come to a head and blown up in my face." "This may be a load to handle, but when things are hard, that is when I am at my best. I have faced hard things in the past, and I know what is coming. I will meet this challenge the only way that I know how: head on." "I have licked bigger things than this before, and I will again. No one will ever be able to say that Monica Lewinsky isn't a finisher, that she quit before the job was done. I will work non-stop and fight this, blow by blow, until I am wiped clean of this dirty affair. I will not be stained by it." "Thank you." Monica Lewinsky
Bonecollector
Veteran member
dirtclod Az.
Veteran member
Winchester
Veteran member
Fink
Veteran member
One day on the farm...
A farmer was helping one of his cows give birth when he noticed his four-year-old son standing at the fence with wide eyes, taking in the whole event.
The man thought to himself, "Great, he's four years old and I'm gonna have to start explaining the birds and bees now. No need to jump the gun. I guess I'll let him ask and then I'll answer."
After everything was over, the man walked over to his son and said, "Well son, do you have any questions?"
"Just one," gasped the wide-eyed lad. "How fast was that calf going when he hit that cow?"
A farmer was helping one of his cows give birth when he noticed his four-year-old son standing at the fence with wide eyes, taking in the whole event.
The man thought to himself, "Great, he's four years old and I'm gonna have to start explaining the birds and bees now. No need to jump the gun. I guess I'll let him ask and then I'll answer."
After everything was over, the man walked over to his son and said, "Well son, do you have any questions?"
"Just one," gasped the wide-eyed lad. "How fast was that calf going when he hit that cow?"
