jocularity

[kidoggy]

Caitlyn Jenner wants to become a super hero

but IT doesn’t know what group to join...
It's down to either Ex-men or a Trans-former

 

[kidoggy]

Joe goes to church and starts praying hard. The pastor comes up and asks: 'what's wrong?'

Joe says: "I want you to pray for my hearing."

The pastor puts his hands on Joe's ears and starts shaking and praying hard for ten minutes.

Pastor says: "So how's your hearing" ?

Joe says: "I don't know, it's not till next Monday."

 

[JimP]

 

[JimP]

 

[JimP]

 

[JimP]

 

[kidoggy]

tru dat!!!!!!

 

[kidoggy]

I was on vacation fishing in Florida when I ran out of bait, I saw a small snake nearby trying to swallow a frog. Knowing the snake couldn’t bite me with the frog in his mouth. I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket. Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit. So, I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth. His eyes rolled back, he went limp. I released him into the lake without incident and carried on fishing using the frog. A little later, I felt a nudge on my foot. It was that snake, with two more frogs.

 

[kidoggy]

How do you break up two blind guys fighting?

Shout, “I got money on that guy with the knife!”

 

[dirtclod Az.]

JimP you have way too much time on your hands...And beer your glass.Az.Pig hunting in Jan?Getr'Done!dirtclod Az.

 

[JimP]

My Living Will:
Last night my kids and I were sitting in the living room and I said to them "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug". They got up unplugged my computer and threw out my wine. The little bastards.

 

[dirtclod Az.]

Lol!Beer out my nose!Have 2 just like them,only they are dogs.

 

[JimP]

 

[kidoggy]

my dad just died because we couldn't remember his blood type.
to his dying breath he kept trying to console us, telling us to "B positive".
I am trying but it's going to be hard with him gone.

 

[kidoggy]

After kissing a girl on her sofa she said “let’s take this upstairs”

“Ok” I said “ You grab one end and I’ll grab the other”

 

[kidoggy]

.......................

 

[kidoggy]

A husband and wife go to a counselor after 25 years of marriage. The counselor asks them what the problem is and the wife goes on a tirade listing every problem they have ever had in the past 25 years. She goes on and on and on.

Finally the counselor gets up, walks around the desk, embraces the wife and kisses her passionately. The woman shuts up and sits quietly in a daze.

The counselor turns to the husband and says, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"

The husband thinks for a moment and replies, "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish or play golf."

 

[JimP]

 

[kidoggy]

Row v Wade

Personally, I'd rather be in a boat, than getting my feet wet.

 

[kidoggy]

..........