jocularity
- Thread starter kidoggy
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dirtclod Az.
Veteran member
JimP how did you get a picture of me and my girlfriend,If my Wife sees this she's gonna kill me!
A Bible study group was discussing the unforeseen possibility of sudden death. "We will all die some day," the leader of the discussion said, "and none of us really knows when, but if we did we would all do a better job of preparing ourselves for that inevitable event." Everybody nodded their heads in agreement with this comment.
"What would you do if you knew you only had 4 weeks of life remaining before your death, before your Great Judgment Day?" the leader asked the group.
"For those 4 weeks, I would go out into my community and minister the Gospel to those that have not yet accepted Jesus into their lives." one gentleman said.
"A very admirable thing to do," said the group leader. And all the group members agreed that would be a very good thing to do.
"For those 4 weeks, I would dedicate all of my remaining time to serving my family, my church, and my fellow man with a greater conviction," one lady said enthusiastically.
"That's wonderful!" the group leader commented, and all the group members agreed that would be a very good thing to do.
One gentleman in the back finally spoke up loudly. " For those 4 weeks, I would travel throughout the United States with my mother-in-law in a Ford Escort, and stay in a Motel 6 every night."
Everyone was puzzled by his answer. "Why would you do that?" the group leader asked.
"Because," the man smiled sarcastically, "it would be the longest 4 weeks of my life."
"What would you do if you knew you only had 4 weeks of life remaining before your death, before your Great Judgment Day?" the leader asked the group.
"For those 4 weeks, I would go out into my community and minister the Gospel to those that have not yet accepted Jesus into their lives." one gentleman said.
"A very admirable thing to do," said the group leader. And all the group members agreed that would be a very good thing to do.
"For those 4 weeks, I would dedicate all of my remaining time to serving my family, my church, and my fellow man with a greater conviction," one lady said enthusiastically.
"That's wonderful!" the group leader commented, and all the group members agreed that would be a very good thing to do.
One gentleman in the back finally spoke up loudly. " For those 4 weeks, I would travel throughout the United States with my mother-in-law in a Ford Escort, and stay in a Motel 6 every night."
Everyone was puzzled by his answer. "Why would you do that?" the group leader asked.
"Because," the man smiled sarcastically, "it would be the longest 4 weeks of my life."
JimP
Administrator
JimP
Administrator
Guido, the second son of a retired mafia Don was spending his second year in prison when one day he received a phone call from his father, who told Guido that he, the father, wanted to plant tomatoes but was too old to dig up all the ground in the garden.
Guido told him that digging in the garden is a bad idea. You won't like what you find down there. Just leave it alone.
Two days later a serious group of federal agents showed up at the father's home
then thoroughly dug up the garden to find
dirt, pebbles, and some rotten old
roots.
The next day Guido received another call from his father who said Guido my son, you have always treated me well and I have called you to thank you.
Guido told him that digging in the garden is a bad idea. You won't like what you find down there. Just leave it alone.
Two days later a serious group of federal agents showed up at the father's home
then thoroughly dug up the garden to find
dirt, pebbles, and some rotten old
roots.
The next day Guido received another call from his father who said Guido my son, you have always treated me well and I have called you to thank you.
JimP
Administrator
Winchester
Veteran member
dirtclod Az.
Veteran member
JimP
Administrator
Don't you put stuff into plastic eggs to hide for your grand kids?
They don't use hard boiled eggs like we did in the old days. They are too afraid of food poisoning when the egg gets ate.
They don't use hard boiled eggs like we did in the old days. They are too afraid of food poisoning when the egg gets ate.
A girl and guy are laying in bed after sex.
She turns to him and says,
"Babe I need to tell you something, I used to be a Christian."
He said: "That doesn't bother me any!"
She responded: "That's a relief, I much prefer being a Christine."
She turns to him and says,
"Babe I need to tell you something, I used to be a Christian."
He said: "That doesn't bother me any!"
She responded: "That's a relief, I much prefer being a Christine."
dirtclod Az.
Veteran member