jocularity

[dustin ray]

asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
And that's when the fight started....

 

[kidoggy]

My wife told me that she used to be Christian.


"That's not a problem," I told her.

"Thanks, I'm much happier being a Christine now," she replied.

 

[kidoggy]

Wheres Kiddoggy this am? I can't go to work without a joke under my belt.Or a belt then a joke.

working off the grid for a few weeks . will pop in when able

 

[dirtclod Az.]

kidoggy,thanks for the Sat. am.fix.

 

[kidoggy]

My therapist told me that a great way to let go of your anger is to write letters to people you hate and then burn them.

I did that and I feel much better but I'm wondering... Do I keep the letters?

 

[dirtclod Az.]

Use the letters to fan the flames.

 

[JimP]

 

[JimP]

 

[kidoggy]

Just recently bought a toilet brush... Didn’t like it so I switched back to toilet paper

 

[dirtclod Az.]

Ouch!Thats gonna leave a mark...

 

[kidoggy]

How does a duck fart?
Through his assquack



What's worse than locking your keys in your car outside of an abortion clinic?

Having to go in and ask for a coat hanger.

 

[kidoggy]

13 discoveries of old age
1. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.
2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and bran flakes.
3. I finally got my head together. Unfortunately, now my body is falling apart.
4. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
5. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
6. If all is not lost, where is it?
7. It’s easier to get older than to get wiser.
8. It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.
9. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
10. It’s not hard to meet expenses–they’re everywhere.
11. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
12. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter. I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I’m hereafter.
13. I am unable to remember if I have posted this before.
14 funny I don't remember being absent minded.

 

[kidoggy]

The girls at the Catholic High School were ready to graduate. As they came up to receive their diplomas, the Mother Superior asked each of them what they would like to do with their lives from now on. The first girl, Mary, said she wanted to be a nurse. Mother Superior smiled and said that was a great choice, a way to help others. The second girl, Kathleen said she wanted to be a school teacher. Again Mother Superior smiled and told Kathleen that was also a wonderful choice, helping young people learn.

The third girl Molly, when asked what she wanted to do with her life, said "I want to be a prostitute." The Mother Superior turned pale and fainted on the spot. When she was revived, she asked Molly again what she wanted to be and Molly replied again "I want to be a prostitute." Mother Superior took a deep breath and said, "Oh, thank God, I thought you said you wanted to be a Protestant!"

 

[JimP]

 

[dirtclod Az.]

Dang,thats akin' to bare knuckle boxing!

 

[dirtclod Az.]

kidoggy off the grid again?Let me try...
Why did the cowboy buy a Dachshund?Someone told him to get along little doggy.OK I give up.JimP you always have something to ad.Lettr' rip.

 

[JimP]

Hot Dooooooooooooooooooooooog.......

 

[JimP]

 

[dirtclod Az.]

Hey thats MY Meemaw!!

 

[JimP]

Be careful what you wish for:


A married couple in their early 60s were celebrating their 40thwedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly a tiny, yet beautiful, fairy appeared on their table. She said, “For being such an exemplary married couple and for being so loving to each other for all of these years, I am going to grant each of you one wish.” The wife answered first, “Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.” The fairy waved her magic want and – poof – two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.

The husband thought for a moment and then said, “Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. My wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.” The wife and the fairy were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So, the fairy waved her magic wand and – poof – the husband became 92 years old!

The moral of this story is: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember that fairies are female.