lol. nice!
I was thinking about saving some burial costs and doing something similar with mother in law when she kicks.
jocularity
- Thread starter kidoggy
- Start date
I was thinking about saving some burial costs and doing something similar with mother in law when she kicks.
Bonecollector
Veteran member
Sounds like a good idea at first, but just remember that she will always be hanging around! [emoji16]
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
badgerbob
Active Member
Years ago I saw one in a bar. Wolf jaws, spike elk single horn added between the eyes, forked tongue and red eyes that had light bulbs in them so they lit up. Kind of got carried away but very good taxidermist work....
eez all good . mother in law is easier on the eyes then the wife is. been wantin ta mount er fer years.
Bonecollector
Veteran member
JimP
Administrator
JimP
Administrator
You're An Extreme Redneck When...
You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
although a universal truth
Confucius did not say..
It takes many nails to build a crib but only one screw to fill it.
nor did He say...…
Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.
You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
although a universal truth
Confucius did not say..
It takes many nails to build a crib but only one screw to fill it.
nor did He say...…
Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.
Last edited:
lol. reminds me off the 2000 elections.
dennis miller--," Bush vs Gore ?? sounds like Hollywood trying to come up with the rating for a movie."
A husband and wife were out golfing when
suddenly the wife asked, "Honey, if I died would you get married again?"
The husband said, "No sweetie."
The woman said, "I'm sure you would."
So the man said, "Okay, I would"
Then the woman asked, "Would you let her sleep in our bed?"
And the man replied, "Ya, I guess so."
Then the wife asked, "Would you let her use my golf clubs?" And the husband replied, "No, she's left handed."
suddenly the wife asked, "Honey, if I died would you get married again?"
The husband said, "No sweetie."
The woman said, "I'm sure you would."
So the man said, "Okay, I would"
Then the woman asked, "Would you let her sleep in our bed?"
And the man replied, "Ya, I guess so."
Then the wife asked, "Would you let her use my golf clubs?" And the husband replied, "No, she's left handed."
JimP
Administrator
A woman from Los Angeles who was a tree hugging, liberal Democrat and an anti-hunter purchased a piece of timberland near Colville, WA . There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started to climb the big tree.
As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch.
In considerable pain, she hurried to a local ER to see a doctor. She told him she was an environmentalist, a Democrat, and an anti-hunter and how she came to get all the splinters. The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go wait in the examining room and he would see if he could help her.
She sat and waited three hours before the doctor re-appeared.The angry woman demanded, "What took you so long?"
He smiled and then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a 'recreational area' so close to a Waste Treatment Facility.
And I'm sorry, but due to Obama-Care they turned you down.
As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch.
In considerable pain, she hurried to a local ER to see a doctor. She told him she was an environmentalist, a Democrat, and an anti-hunter and how she came to get all the splinters. The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go wait in the examining room and he would see if he could help her.
She sat and waited three hours before the doctor re-appeared.The angry woman demanded, "What took you so long?"
He smiled and then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a 'recreational area' so close to a Waste Treatment Facility.
And I'm sorry, but due to Obama-Care they turned you down.
JimP
Administrator
New
A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.
First, of course, he had to take an eyesight test. The examiner showed him a card with the letters:
'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'
"Can you read this?" the examiner asked.
"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "Hell, I know the guy"!
A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.
First, of course, he had to take an eyesight test. The examiner showed him a card with the letters:
'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'
"Can you read this?" the examiner asked.
"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "Hell, I know the guy"!
JimP
Administrator
A Rabbi and a Priest met at the town's annual 4th of July picnic. Old friends, they began their usual banter.
"This baked ham is really delicious," the priest teased the rabbi. "You really ought to try it. I know it's against your religion, but I can't understand why such a wonderful food should be forbidden! You don't know what you're missing. You just haven't lived until you've tried Mrs. Hall's prized Virginia Baked Ham. Tell me, Rabbi, when are you going to break down and try it?"
The rabbi looked at the priest with a big grin, and said, "At your wedding."
"This baked ham is really delicious," the priest teased the rabbi. "You really ought to try it. I know it's against your religion, but I can't understand why such a wonderful food should be forbidden! You don't know what you're missing. You just haven't lived until you've tried Mrs. Hall's prized Virginia Baked Ham. Tell me, Rabbi, when are you going to break down and try it?"
The rabbi looked at the priest with a big grin, and said, "At your wedding."
JimP
Administrator
JimP
Administrator
Enjoy every moment of life.
As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Nova Scotia back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play. The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I've never played before for this homeless man. And as I played "Amazing Grace", the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished, I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head was hung low, my heart was full. As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "I never seen anything like that before, and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."
Apparently, I'm still lost ... it's a man thing.
As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Nova Scotia back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play. The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I've never played before for this homeless man. And as I played "Amazing Grace", the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished, I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head was hung low, my heart was full. As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "I never seen anything like that before, and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."
Apparently, I'm still lost ... it's a man thing.
I went to the liquor store Friday afternoonon my bicycle.
I bought a bottle of Scotch and put it in my bicycle basket.
As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the
bicycle,the bottle would break,
so I drank all the Scotch before I rode home.
It turned out to be a very good decision, because
I fell off my bicycle several times on my way home
I bought a bottle of Scotch and put it in my bicycle basket.
As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the
bicycle,the bottle would break,
so I drank all the Scotch before I rode home.
It turned out to be a very good decision, because
I fell off my bicycle several times on my way home
A man is outside in his front yard attempting to fly a kite with his son.
Every time the kite gets up in the air, it comes crashing down.
After this goes on for a while, his wife sticks her head out the front door and yells, "You need more tail."
The man turns to his son and says, "Son, I never will understand women. I just told her an hour ago I needed more tail, and she said to go fly a kite!"
Every time the kite gets up in the air, it comes crashing down.
After this goes on for a while, his wife sticks her head out the front door and yells, "You need more tail."
The man turns to his son and says, "Son, I never will understand women. I just told her an hour ago I needed more tail, and she said to go fly a kite!"