jocularity

kidoggy

kidoggy

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A doctor in Duluth Minnesota wanted to get
Off work and go hunting, so he
Approached his assistant. 'Ole, I am goin' huntin' tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all my patients.'
'Yes, sir!' answers Ole.
The doctor goes hunting and returns
The following day and asks: 'So, Ole,
How was your day?'
Ole told him that he took care of
Three patients. 'The first one had a
Headache so I gave him TYLENOL.'
'Bravo, mate, and the second one?'
Asks the doctor.
'The second one had stomach burning and I gave him MAALOX, sir,' says Ole.
'Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the third one?' asks the Doctor.
'Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opens and a woman enters.
Like a flame, she undresses herself,
Taking off everything including
Her panties and lies
Down on the table and shouts:
HELP ME - I haven't
Seen a man in over two years!!'
'Tunderin' Lard Yeezus, Ole,
What did you do?' asks the doctor.
'I put drops in her eyes!!
 
kidoggy

kidoggy

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the uglies of the #metoo movement have broken off to start their own movement.
please show your support for #mefirst.



rally cry- UGGS NEED LUVIN TO!
 
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kidoggy

kidoggy

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Back in the turn of the century in a mining town
out west, a woman walked into a saloon. Suddenly she realized that she was not in the general store, so she started to turn around and leave. As she was doing this, a drunk cowboy seated at the bar noticed her and said to the woman, “Come on over, Ma’am, sit yerself down right here next to me and have yerself a drink.
“Thank you kindly, Sir, but I’m afraid that I couldn’t,” replied the woman, “on account that I need to get bread.”
The cowboy replied, “Uh, Ma’am, I do reckon you came to the right place for that!”
 
kidoggy

kidoggy

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My ex girlfriend recently became a world famous porn star.
She’s gonna be really angry when she finds out.
 
kidoggy

kidoggy

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I can't believe what liars doctors are.
I went and got a a vasectomy to keep my wife from getting pregnant.... turns out , all it does is change the color of the baby.
 
kidoggy

kidoggy

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Priorities...

One day, there was this lawyer who had just bought a new car, and he was eager to show it off to his colleagues, when all of a sudden, an eighteen wheeler came out of nowhere and took off the driver's side door with him standing right there.

"NOOO!" he screamed. Because he knew that no matter how much a mechanic tried to fix it, it never would be the same.

Finally, a policeman came by, and the lawyer ran up to him yelling. "MY BMW'S DOOR WAS JUST RUINED BY SOME FOOLISH DRIVER!" he exclaimed.

"You're a lawyer aren't you?" asked the policeman. "Yes, I am. But what does this have to do with my car?" the lawyer asked.

"HA!" the policeman replied. "You lawyers are always so materialistic. All you care about are your possessions. I bet you didn't even notice that your left arm is missing did you?" the cop said.

The lawyer looked down at his side and exclaimed: "MY ROLEX!!"
 
Bonecollector

Bonecollector

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Here is an e-mail sent to Clarence Page of the Chicago Tribune after an article he published concerning a name change for the Washington Redskins.



Dear Mr. Page: I agree with our Native American population. I am highly insulted by the racially charged name of the Washington Redskins. One might argue that to name a professional football team after Native Americans would exalt them as fine warriors, but nay, nay. We must be careful not to offend, and in the spirit of political correctness and courtesy, we must move forward.



Let's ditch the Kansas City Chiefs, the Atlanta Braves and the Cleveland Indians. If your shorts are in a wad because of the reference the name Redskins makes to skin color, then we need to get rid of the Cleveland Browns.



The Carolina Panthers obviously were named to keep the memory of militant Blacks from the 60's alive. Gone. It's offensive to us white folk.



The New York Yankees offend the Southern population. Do you see a team named for the Confederacy? No! There is no room for any reference to that tragic war that cost this country so many young men's lives.



I am also offended by the blatant references to the Catholic religion among our sports team names. Totally inappropriate to have the New Orleans Saints, the Los Angeles Angels or the San Diego Padres.



Then there are the team names that glorify criminals who raped and pillaged. We are talking about the horrible Oakland Raiders, the Minnesota Vikings, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Pittsburgh Pirates!



Now, let us address those teams that clearly send the wrong message to our children. The San Diego Chargers promote irresponsible fighting or even spending habits. Wrong message to our children.



The New York Giants and the San Francisco Giants promote obesity, a growing childhood epidemic. Wrong message to our children.



The Cincinnati Reds promote downers/barbiturates. Wrong message to our children.



The Milwaukee Brewers. Well that goes without saying. Wrong message to our children.



So, there you go. We need to support any legislation that comes out to rectify this travesty, because the government will likely become involved with this issue, as they should. Just the kind of thing the do-nothing Congress loves.



As a diehard Oregon State fan, my wife and I, with all of this in mind, suggest it might also make some sense to change the name of the Oregon State women's athletic teams to something other than "the Beavers", especially when they play Southern California. Do we really want the Trojans sticking it to the Beavers???



I always love your articles and I generally agree with them. As for the Redskins name I would suggest they change the name to the "Foreskins" to better represent their community, paying tribute to the dick heads in Washington DC.
 
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