jocularity
- Thread starter kidoggy
- Start date
Right after takeoff, a pilot comes on the microphone to welcome his passengers. “Thank you for flying with us. The weather is....”
Then he suddenly starts screaming while still on the mic, “OH MY GOD! IT IS BURNING!!, IT IS BURNING!”
Then silence.
A few seconds later, he comes back on and says, “I’m terribly sorry about what happened. I spilled some scorching hot coffee on my lap...you should see my pants!!”
A voice from the back of the plane yelled, “Why don’t you come here and see OURS!!!!!!!!!!!
Then he suddenly starts screaming while still on the mic, “OH MY GOD! IT IS BURNING!!, IT IS BURNING!”
Then silence.
A few seconds later, he comes back on and says, “I’m terribly sorry about what happened. I spilled some scorching hot coffee on my lap...you should see my pants!!”
A voice from the back of the plane yelled, “Why don’t you come here and see OURS!!!!!!!!!!!
dirtclod Az.
Veteran member
yeah . I was able to sneak out for a few hours yesterday.Shakin' my head...0330am going hunting?
only saw a few does and one lil 2x2.
thought about shooting him as I am not going to be able to get out much this season but in the end I just couldn't do it and gave him a pass.
I have a November doe tag for antelope anyhow and not much room in the freezer. still have deer and elk from last year ,plus half a beef. so I can afford to be choosy this year.
One Sunday morning, the priest noticed Little Johnny was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. It was covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on either side of it.
The seven-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the priest walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, "Good morning, Little Johnny."
"Good morning, Father," replied the young man, still focused on the plaque. "Father Scott, what is this?" Little Johnny asked.
"Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service."
Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque.
Little Johnny's voice was barely audible when he asked, "Which service, the 9:45 or the 11:15?"
The seven-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the priest walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, "Good morning, Little Johnny."
"Good morning, Father," replied the young man, still focused on the plaque. "Father Scott, what is this?" Little Johnny asked.
"Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service."
Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque.
Little Johnny's voice was barely audible when he asked, "Which service, the 9:45 or the 11:15?"
dirtclod Az.
Veteran member
Kid good on you.Let the small ones grow.Passed on one this am. myself..Skylined,didn't feel safe with the shot.Doe.
Doe.As I started to unload my seriously full shopping cart at the register, I noticed a sweet little old lady behind me holding only a pint of milk.
"Is that all you've got?" I asked.
"Yes," she smiled.
"Well," I replied, "You'd better find another line, I'm going to be awhile."
"Is that all you've got?" I asked.
"Yes," she smiled.
"Well," I replied, "You'd better find another line, I'm going to be awhile."
A young naval student was being put through the paces by an old sea captain.
“What would you do if a sudden storm sprang up on the starboard?”
“Throw out an anchor, sir,” the student replied.
“What would you do if another storm sprang up aft?”
“Throw out another anchor, sir.”
“And if another terrific storm sprang up forward, what would you do then?” asked the captain.
“Throw out another anchor, sir.”
“Hold on,” said the captain. “Where are you getting all those anchors from?”
“From the same place you’re getting your storms, sir.”
“What would you do if a sudden storm sprang up on the starboard?”
“Throw out an anchor, sir,” the student replied.
“What would you do if another storm sprang up aft?”
“Throw out another anchor, sir.”
“And if another terrific storm sprang up forward, what would you do then?” asked the captain.
“Throw out another anchor, sir.”
“Hold on,” said the captain. “Where are you getting all those anchors from?”
“From the same place you’re getting your storms, sir.”
dirtclod Az.
Veteran member
dustin ray
Veteran member
dirtclod Az.
Veteran member
The other day I was in the local auto parts store. A lady comes in and asks for a 710 cap. We all looked at each other and said, "What's a 710 cap?"
She said, "You know, it's right on the engine. Mine got lost some how and I need a new one."
What kind of a car is it on," they asked? Now I'm thinking maybe an old Datsun 710, but no, she said it's a Pontiac.
"OK lady, how big is it?"
She makes a circle with her hands about 3 1/2 inches in diameter. ?What does it do?," we asked.
She said, "I don't know, but it's always been there."
We gave her a note pad and asked if she could draw a picture of it. So she makes a circle about 3 1/2 inches in diameter and in the center she writes '710.'
She said, "You know, it's right on the engine. Mine got lost some how and I need a new one."
What kind of a car is it on," they asked? Now I'm thinking maybe an old Datsun 710, but no, she said it's a Pontiac.
"OK lady, how big is it?"
She makes a circle with her hands about 3 1/2 inches in diameter. ?What does it do?," we asked.
She said, "I don't know, but it's always been there."
We gave her a note pad and asked if she could draw a picture of it. So she makes a circle about 3 1/2 inches in diameter and in the center she writes '710.'
dustin ray
Veteran member
Our dish washer has been broke for some time this morning my wife said im tired of doing dishes im going to get a new one
me- well ok i hope she good looking and can cook
Thats when the fight started
me- well ok i hope she good looking and can cook
Thats when the fight started
Last edited: