jocularity

dirtclod Az.

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0600 Az. time no kidoggy...Must be hunting again.Geez who watches over him?Hunting season and he's hunting?
An apple a day keeps everyone away if you throw it hard enough! or a dirtclod...:cool:
 

kidoggy

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Debbie's husband Morty has been in the hospital with a terminal disease for months, but she had remained at his bedside day and night.

One evening, Morty wakes up and signals for his wife to come closer.

"Debbie," he says, "you've always been with me through so many hard times. When I flunked out of college, you stood by my side. When I was fired from my job, you were there to comfort me. When I started my own business and it failed, you were right there with me. When I had that awful skiing accident, you were there. When I got desperately sick you were still there."

"You know what honey?", he continued, "I think you're bad luck!"
 

kidoggy

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The huge college freshman decided to try out for the football team
. "Can you tackle?" asked the coach.
"Watch this," said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters.
"Wow," said the coach. "I'm impressed. Can you run?"
"Of course I can run," said the freshman. He was off like a shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash.
"Great!" enthused the coach. "But can you pass a football?"
The freshman hesitated for a few seconds. "Well, sir," he said, "if I can swallow it, I can probably pass it."
 

kidoggy

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Why do Mexicans not like to travel on interstates in the midwest?

Signs are everywhere that read "WATCH FOR ICE ON BRIDGE"
 

kidoggy

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My wife was in the kitchen this morning cooking me bacon, sausage, eggs, hash browns and toast when I suddenly heard a loud 'thud.' Running in, I found her lying on the floor & not breathing. I was in a frenzy, I had no idea what to do. Then I remembered, Denny's has the Grand Slam for $3.99.
 

kidoggy

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A man tells his Priest "I have a strong desire to live for all eternity. What should I do?"
"Get married" said the Priest.
"It's that simple? Would that allow me to live forever?" He said.
The Priest replied, "No, but the desire will disappear"
 

kidoggy

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crack kills.



hmmm.... weird , jimps post seems to have disapeared
 
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kidoggy

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what's the difference between a baby and a liberal?





-----

The baby quits crying after a few years




congrats to kavanough!!

winning!
 
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kidoggy

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Man on honeymoon killed by shark

The good news is that he didn't suffer much, as he had only been married 2 days.
 

kidoggy

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It was the first day of the school year, and
an elementary teacher was trying to get to know her students.

“What did you do this summer?” the teacher asked Suzie.

“Me and my family went to the beach a lot,” Suzie answered.

“That sounds like fun,” said the teacher. “How about you, Emma? What did you do this summer?”

“Me and my family rode our bikes together.”

“That sounds lovely,” said the teacher. She continued with all her pupils until she got to shy Mikey in the corner of the room.

“What did you do this summer, Mikey?”

“Nothing,” the boy responded timidly.

“Did you do anything with your family?” the teacher asked, trying to draw Mikey out.

“Yes.”

“Did you go to the beach?”

“No.”

“Did you ride bikes?”

“No, never!” the boy burst out. “We can never ride bikes together!”

“Why not?” said the shocked teacher.

“I don’t know,” explained Mikey, “but dad always said, when then mom and sis start ‘cycling together’, it’s time to get the hell out of town.”
 

kidoggy

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A Liberal found a magic genie's lamp and rubbed it.
The genie said, "I will grant you one wish."
He said, "I wish I were smarter".
So the genie made him a Republican.
 

kidoggy

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unfortunate book titles and authors

The Yellow River by I.P. Daly

My Life as a Lion Tamer by Claud Badly

The Cellophane Kimono by Seymour Bush

The Cream of the Russian Army by Iben Yerkinov

The Broken Door by U.N. Hinged



line in the sand by peter dragun
 

dirtclod Az.

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I think the book was Yellow River by I P. Freely

And Chinese Population Explosion by WEE Fucm Yung

Problem at Gas Pump by Who Pumpd Ethel

:cool: