jocularity
- Thread starter kidoggy
- Start date
How do you get a philosophy major off of your front porch?
Pay him for the pizza.
Pay him for the pizza.
A frog called the Psychic Hotline. The Psychic told him: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl, and she will come to know everything about you, inside and outside."
The frog was delighted. "When will I meet her?" he asked.
"Next semester--in her biology class."
The frog was delighted. "When will I meet her?" he asked.
"Next semester--in her biology class."
JimP
Administrator
Husband and Wife are Christmas Shopping at a busy shopping mall just before Christmas. The wife suddenly noticed that her husband was missing and as they had a lot to do, so she called him on his cell.
The wife said " Where are you, you know we have lots to do."
He said "You remember the jewelers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I could not afford it at the time and I said that one day I would get it for you?"
Little tears started to flow down her cheek and she got all
choked up…
"Yes, I do remember that shop." she replied.
"Well I am in the gun shop next door to that."
The wife said " Where are you, you know we have lots to do."
He said "You remember the jewelers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I could not afford it at the time and I said that one day I would get it for you?"
Little tears started to flow down her cheek and she got all
choked up…
"Yes, I do remember that shop." she replied.
"Well I am in the gun shop next door to that."
A guy went to a psychiatrist because he was having severe problems with his sex life. The psychiatrist asked him a lot of questions, but he couldn't get a clear picture of the problems. Finally he asked, "Do you ever watch your girlfriend's face while you're having sex?"
"Well, yes, I did once."
"And how did she look?"
"Oh boy, she looked very angry!"
At this point the psychiatrist felt that he was really getting somewhere. "Well that's very interesting, we must look into this further. Now tell me, you say that you have only seen your girlfriend's face once during sex. That seems somewhat unusual. How did it occur that you saw her face that time?"
"She was watching us through the window."
"Well, yes, I did once."
"And how did she look?"
"Oh boy, she looked very angry!"
At this point the psychiatrist felt that he was really getting somewhere. "Well that's very interesting, we must look into this further. Now tell me, you say that you have only seen your girlfriend's face once during sex. That seems somewhat unusual. How did it occur that you saw her face that time?"
"She was watching us through the window."
dirtclod Az.
Veteran member
RICMIC
Veteran member
I was so poor when I was growing up, that if I wasn't born a boy I wouldn't have had anything to play with.
Bonecollector
Veteran member
JimP
Administrator
we were so poor when I WAS a kid we couldn't afford to heat the house . so.... even though I was born a boy ,I still had nothing to play with.
dirtclod Az.
Veteran member
They burned your wood?See if you weren't playing with it you wouldn't have wood all the time and they wouldn't burn it!we were so poor when I WAS a kid we couldn't afford to heat the house . so.... even though I was born a boy ,I still had nothing to play with.
Everybody at the party got upset when Baby Jesus turned the wine into breast milk.
My wife was in the kitchen cooking breakfast when suddenly I heard a loud thud.
Running in I found her collapsed on the floor & not breathing. I was in a blind frenzy and had no idea what to do...
Then I remembered.... Denny's does an all day breakfast for just $3.99!!
Running in I found her collapsed on the floor & not breathing. I was in a blind frenzy and had no idea what to do...
Then I remembered.... Denny's does an all day breakfast for just $3.99!!
dirtclod Az.
Veteran member
Did you field dress her and hang her in the garage before Denny"s?
Have some compassion Man!!
Have some compassion Man!!