Public Service Announcement

Bonecollector

Veteran member
Mar 9, 2014
5,862
3,667
Ohio
Darrel Whitaker, from Glenwood Springs in Colorado, claims a sasquatch attacked him and attempted to rape him while he was walking in the woods.

The 57-year old man was walking to his hunting cabin on Sunday, to see if it had suffered any damage during the winter.

All of a sudden, a large “gorilla-like” creature dropped from a tree in front of him punched him in the face.


“It was at least 8-foot tall and it’s punches hurt like hell! I was knocked right out at the first blow!”

While Mr. Whitaker was trying to recover from the attack, the large humanoid creature began to tear his clothes while letting out some terrifying howls.


“When I regained consciousness, he had already torn my pants and was tearing through my underwear. I stabbed him in the shoulder with my hunting knife, and that made him run away.”

Mr. Whitaker immediately reported the attack to both the Glenwood Springs Police Department (GSPD) and the Colorado Parks and Wildlife agency, and a joint investigation has been launched.

Investigators found some extremely large footprints on the site, which they believe are those of the aggressor.

Darrel Whitaker is convinced that the creature who attacked him was a sasquatch, but the GSPD investigators say it’s more probable that the attacker is simply a particularly large and hairy man.

They are currently interrogating nearby residents to see if anyone noticed an individual corresponding to the description of the suspect.

According to the victim, the attacker measure around 8-foot tall and is extremely hairy. He has brown hair, dark brown eyes and extremely large feet.

If you possess any information concerning the suspect, please contact the Glenwood Springs Police Department or the Colorado Parks and Wildlife agency.

PERHAPS IT WAS A LOST PROTESTER.
THIS IS APPARENTLY NOT A LIMITED ENTRY UNIT!! COULDN'T RESIST!
 

Colorado Cowboy

Super Moderator
Jun 8, 2011
8,365
4,757
83
Dolores, Colorado
Does anybody know if Colorado Cowboy is anywhere near 8 feet tall? Just a hunch... :)
HA.....I do have a full head of hair (gray) and a lot of facial hair between my lips and nose, but 8' tall....not quite. Maybe the guy was eating those hallucinogenic mushrooms. If he was, them I might look like Bigfoot.
 

Ikeepitcold

Administrator
Staff member
Feb 22, 2011
10,036
1,625
Reno Nv
How could this fool actually post a photo of himself and think he won't get harassed? I wouldnt have told anyone! Hahahahha
 

ElkTrout

Veteran member
Feb 2, 2012
2,443
50
Parker, CO
See that there is the very problem with legalizing weed here in Colorado! Everyone is seeing Bigfoot!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

ColoradoV

Very Active Member
Oct 4, 2011
820
941
Problem w legal weed is all the wookies are migrating here from the east coast...

Thanks for the article my grandma lives in glenwood and we both had a good laugh last night about it.
 

SGM

Active Member
Apr 19, 2016
198
1
Canon City Colorado
Man some guys have all the luck and fun. I bet the officers that took that report did not think they would be placing a wookie in the subject block of their report.