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A minister, a priest and a rabbit walk into a bar. The bartender takes drink orders from the minister and the priest, then asks the rabbit "What are you doing here?". The rabbit replies " I don't know - I'm only here because of auto-correct!".

I recently entered a competition to see who’s gained the most weight and lost the most hair. Obviously it wasn’t called that, it was advertised as a ‘High School Reunion’.

A guy goes into the doctors complaining about his hearing. "Could you describe the symptoms?" the doctor asks. "Yeah sure" the guy replies "Homer is a bald, fat, yellow guy and Marge is a skinny woman with blue hair"

What did the fish say when it ran into a wall? Dam! What did the wall say when a fish ran into it? Dumb bass!

How many of Jesus’s wives does it take to change a light bulb? Nun