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It’s a shame nothing is built in the USA anymore. I just bought a T.V. and it said, “Built in Antenna” and to be perfectly honest... I don’t even know where that is!

Since this got brought back to the top, how did it turn out?

I’s been a funny day so far.. First I found a hat full of money. Then I was chased by an angry man with a guitar.

So a kindergarten teacher was walking around and observing her classroom of children.. while they were drawing pictures. As she got to one girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God...

A pale-looking man staggers into a bar and says "Get me ten double shots of your best whisky." The bartender does this, and the man slugs them down one after another, until he's knocked back the lot in less than a minute. Worried, the bartender asks, "Why are you hitting the bottle so hard?"...

You’re paying for theirs.

A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. Her parents are appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings, and his language. Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.” “Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be...

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going...

A mom texts, “Hi! Son, what do IDK, LY and TTYL mean?” He texts back, “I don’t know, love you and talk to you later.” The mom replies, “It’s OK, don’t worry about it. I’ll ask your sister. Love you too.”