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Thread: jocularity

  1. #1401
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    If you don't care where you are, you are not lost....

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  3. #1402
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    If you don't care where you are, you are not lost....

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  5. #1403
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    Quote Originally Posted by JimP View Post
    you know what they say,"no muff is to tuff."
    AS GOES THE CHURCH, SO GOES THE NATION


    tolerance of the nation ,makes the nation an obamination !

  6. #1404
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    Is that JimP on an Az. backroad?Kinda muddy buddy!

  7. #1405
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    Quote Originally Posted by dirtclod Az. View Post
    Is that JimP on an Az. backroad?Kinda muddy buddy!
    That was from all the rain back in 2017
    If you don't care where you are, you are not lost....

  8. #1406
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    The Wailing Wall
    A journalist assigned to the Jerusalem bureau takes an apartment overlooking the Wailing Wall. Every day when she looks out, she sees an old Jewish man praying vigorously. So the journalist goes down to the wall, and introduces herself to the old man.
    She asks: "You come every day to the wall. How long have you done that and what are you praying for?"
    The old man replies, "I have come here to pray every day for 25 years. In the morning I pray for world peace and then for the brotherhood of man. I go home and in the afternoon I come back and pray for the eradication of illness and disease from the earth."
    The journalist is amazed. "How does it make you feel to come here every day for 25 years and pray for these things?" she asks.
    The old man replies, calmly: . . . "Like I'm talking to a wall."
    AS GOES THE CHURCH, SO GOES THE NATION


    tolerance of the nation ,makes the nation an obamination !

  9. #1407
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    Click image for larger version. 

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    Trying like hell to live the dream,Nomad

  10. #1408
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    Jack Daniels trick

    A woman goes to a counselor, worried about her husband's temper.
    The counselor asks, "What's the problem?

    The woman says, "I don't know what to do. Every day my husband loses
    his temper for no reason. It scares me."

    The Counselor says, "I have a cure for that. When it seems your husband
    is getting angry, take a double shot of Jack Daniel's and swish it in your mouth.
    Swish and swish, but don't swallow until he either leaves the room or calms down."

    Two weeks later, she goes back to the counselor, looking fresh and reborn.

    She tells the counselor, "That was a brilliant idea. Every time my husband started
    to get angry, I swished the Jack. I swished and swished, and he calmed down.
    How does swishing Jack Daniel's in your mouth do that?

    The counselor said, "The Jack Daniel's does nothing. Keeping your mouth shut is the trick."
    If you don't care where you are, you are not lost....

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  12. #1409
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    Last Nickel
    A father walks into a restaurant with his young son. He gives the young boy 3 nickels
    to play with to keep him occupied. Suddenly the boy starts choking, going blue in the face.

    The father realizes the boy has swallowed the nickels and starts slapping him on the back.
    The boy coughs up 2 of the nickels, but keeps choking. Looking at his son, the father is
    panicking, shouting for help.
    A well dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting
    at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion,
    she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the
    counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.
    Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants; takes hold of the boy's testicles
    and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly. After a few seconds
    the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last nickel, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.
    Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the nickel to the father and walks back to her
    seat in the coffee bar without saying a word
    As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the
    woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before,
    it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?
    "No," the woman replied...."Divorce attorney.” {I also heard an IRS auditor can do the same thing}
    If you don't care where you are, you are not lost....

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