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Thread: jocularity

  1. #1261
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    could the Emperor have saved a bundle in Death Star insurance if he had switched to Geicho?
    AS GOES THE CHURCH, SO GOES THE NATION

  2. #1262
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    SOTU

    I haven't seen so many democrats in white since they started the KKK!!
    AS GOES THE CHURCH, SO GOES THE NATION

  3. #1263
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    A recent study shows women who get more sleep have better sex.
    Unfortunately the study was conducted by Bill Cosby.
    AS GOES THE CHURCH, SO GOES THE NATION

  4. #1264
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    Southern California Math Test

    REVISED HIGH SCHOOL MATH
    PROFICIENCY EXAM FOR SO. CAL.

    NAME______________________________

    GANG NAME_________________________

    1) Jose has 2 ounces of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to Antonio for $320 and 2 grams to Juan for $85 per gram, what is the street value of the rest of his hold?

    2) Rufus pimps 3 hos. If the price is $85 per trick, how many tricks per day must each ho turn to support Rufus' $800 per day crack habit?

    3) Jerome wants to cut the pound of cocaine he bought for $40,000 to make a 20% profit. How many ounces will he need?

    4) Willie gets $200 for a stolen BMW, $150 for stealing a Corvette, and $100 for a 4x4. If he steals 1 BMW, 2 Corvettes, and 3 4x4's, how many more Corvettes must he steal to have $900?

    5) Raoul got 6 years for murder, he also got $10,000 for the hit. If his common-law wife spends $100 per month, how much money will be left when he gets out?

    **Extra credit question: How much more time will he get for killing the ho that spent his money??**

    6) If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can be sprayed with 3 eight-ounce cans of spray paint?

    7) Hector knocked up 3 girls in the gang. There are 27 girls in his gang. What is the exact percentage of girls Hector knocked up?

    8) Bernie is a lookout for the gang. Bernie has a boa constrictor that eats 3 small rats per week at a cost of $5 per rat. If Bernie makes $700 a week as a lookout, how many weeks can he feed the boa with one week's salary?

    9) Billy steals Joe's skateboard. As Billy skates away at 35 mph, Joe loads his 357 Magnum. If it takes Joe 20 seconds to load his Magnum, how far away will Billy be when he gets whacked?
    AS GOES THE CHURCH, SO GOES THE NATION

  5. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to kidoggy For This Useful Post:


  6. #1265
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    Someones" Day Drinkin'"

  7. #1266
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    Quote Originally Posted by dirtclod Az. View Post
    Someones" Day Drinkin'"
    Or smokin'Click image for larger version. 

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    When all the trees have been cut down, when all the animals have been hunted, when all the waters are polluted, when all the air is unsafe to breathe, only then will you discover you cannot eat money.

    Cree Prophecy

  8. #1267
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gr8bawana View Post
    Or smokin'Click image for larger version. 

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    never smoke if you got no cheatoes!


    AS GOES THE CHURCH, SO GOES THE NATION

  9. #1268
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    You Gotta love The "Green Green"!

  10. #1269
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    Or to much cool aid to wash it down
    Trying like hell to live the dream,Nomad

  11. #1270
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    A.O. Cortez Is still running around the Capital looking for Phil A. Busters office.
    She says she wants to be on the appropriations committee because she understands when something is appropriate.
    She says we shouldn’t just teach Civics in schools, we should teach about all automobiles.
    When they delivered a new TV to her office and read on the box built-in antenna she asked the delivery person if antenna was a city in China.
    When asked of her choice for speaker of the house she said Bose.
    She says she supports veterans because they help pets.
    She wore a sleeveless shirt at a meeting to support her right to bare arms.
    She wanted a trade embargo on Romania because of tainted romaine lettuce.
    She wanted to know how much tuition is at the Electoral College.
    When asked if she knew the Capital of Texas she said “T”.
    AS GOES THE CHURCH, SO GOES THE NATION

 

 
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