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Thread: jocularity

  1. #1471
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    Past, present, and future walk into a bar........
    it was a tense situation!
    AS GOES THE CHURCH, SO GOES THE NATION


    tolerance of the nation ,makes the nation an obamination !

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  3. #1472
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    I went to my therapist only wearing saran wrap around my private parts.

    My therapist said: "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
    AS GOES THE CHURCH, SO GOES THE NATION


    tolerance of the nation ,makes the nation an obamination !

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  5. #1473
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    Teacher: "Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told that if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.
    Johnny: "Well, Mrs. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."
    AS GOES THE CHURCH, SO GOES THE NATION


    tolerance of the nation ,makes the nation an obamination !

  6. #1474
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    LOL- Johnny gets her every time....

  7. #1475
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    Wife: Do you drink beer?

    Man: Yes.
    Wife: How many beers a day?
    Man: Usually about 3
    Wife: How much do you pay per beer?
    Man: $5.00 which includes a tip.
    Wife: And how long have you been drinking?
    Man: About 20 years, I suppose.
    Wife: So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, it would be approximately $5400 …correct?
    Man: Correct
    Wife: If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at $108,000, correct?
    Man: Correct
    Wife: Do you know that if you didn't drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?
    Man: Do you drink beer?
    Wife: No
    Man: Where's your Ferrari?
    AS GOES THE CHURCH, SO GOES THE NATION


    tolerance of the nation ,makes the nation an obamination !

  8. #1476
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    After 20 years of marriage,

    a couple was lying in bed one evening when the missus felt her husband begin to fondle her in ways he hadn't in quite some time. It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back. He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down over her breasts, stopping just over her lower stomach.

    He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, caressed past the side of her breast again, working down her side, passed gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf.

    Then, he proceeded up her inner thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent.

    As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, 'That was wonderful. Why did you stop?'

    He said, 'I found the remote!'
    AS GOES THE CHURCH, SO GOES THE NATION


    tolerance of the nation ,makes the nation an obamination !

 

 
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