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Thread: jocularity

  1. #811
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    A wife goes to consult a psychiatrist about her husband: “My husband is acting so weird. He drinks his morning coffee and then he goes and eats the mug! He only leaves the handle!”

    Psychiatrist: “Yes, that is weird. The handle is the best part.“
    AS GOES THE CHURCH, SO GOES THE NATION

  2. #812
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    If you don't care where you are, you are not lost....

  3. #813
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    Here's a couple of stupid dad jokes for this AM:
    I just watched a program about Beavers.It was the best dam program I've ever seen.

    I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.It's a total rip-off.
    Your turn...dirtclod Az.

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  5. #814
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    hurricanes are like women .
    they start out all wet and wild but eventually take your house and car
    AS GOES THE CHURCH, SO GOES THE NATION

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  7. #815
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    Can a vegetarian still eat animal crackers?

  8. #816
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    A man goes to see a wizard and says,

    "Can you lift a curse that a priest put on me years ago?"

    "Possibly..." says the wizard, "Do you remember the exact words of the curse?"

    The man replies,

    "I pronounce you man and wife."
    AS GOES THE CHURCH, SO GOES THE NATION

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  10. #817
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    If you don't care where you are, you are not lost....

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  12. #818
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    The Department of the Navy is now assigning females to quarters in a
    separate "OFF LIMITS" area on all aircraft carriers.

    While addressing all personnel at Pearl Harbor, the Admiral advised, "Female sleeping quarters will be "out-of-bounds" for all males.

    Anyone caught breaking this rule will be fined $50."

    And the Admiral continued, "Anyone caught breaking this rule a
    second time will be fined $150.

    Being caught a third time will cost you $500."
    Are there any questions?"

    At this point, a US Marine from the security detail assigned to a ship stood up
    in the crowd and inquired: "Sir, How much for a season pass, Sir ?"
    If you don't care where you are, you are not lost....

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  14. #819
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    While enjoying their evening cocktails, the wife asks her husband, in a very seductive voice,"Have you ever seen Twenty Dollars all crumpled up?"

    "No," said her husband.

    She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top 3 or 4 buttons of her blouse, and slowly reached down into the cleavage created by a silky bra, and pulled out a crumpled Twenty Dollar bill.

    He took the crumpled Twenty Dollar bill from her and smiled approvingly.

    She then asked him, "Have you ever seen Fifty Dollars all crumpled up?"

    "Uh... no, I haven't," he said, with an anxious tone in his voice.

    She gave him another sexy little smile, pulled up her skirt, and seductively reached into her panties... and pulled out a crumpled Fifty Dollar bill.

    He took the crumpled Fifty Dollar bill and started breathing a little quicker with anticipation.

    "Now," she said, "have you ever seen $50,000 Dollars all crumpled up?"

    He said, …."No!," trying to hide his anticipation.

    She said, "Better check the garage."
    If you don't care where you are, you are not lost....

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  16. #820
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    If you don't care where you are, you are not lost....

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