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Thread: jocularity

  1. #101
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    I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.

    I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked,"If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
    "No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.

    "Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked.

    "No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said.."I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

    "Will you spend this on hunting equipment?" I asked.

    "Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't gone hunting in 20 years!"

    "Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."

    The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?

    I replied, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting."
    AS GOES THE CHURCH, SO GOES THE NATION

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  3. #102
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    A young boy comes home from school at around 7pm

    As he walks through the door his Dad questions him. "Where the hell have you been?" "I was with Jessica" He replied. "And what were you doing?" "We were studying" The boy replies right before walking over to the table and picking up a snack and taking a bite. "Wow, these fishcakes are delicious!" he said. After laughing a little, his Dad replies "Go and brush your teeth , son, they're doughnuts".
    AS GOES THE CHURCH, SO GOES THE NATION

  4. #103
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    If only lolClick image for larger version. 

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  6. #104
    Eastmans' Staff / Moderator
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    Friendly reminder, keep this family friendly guys.
    www.eastmans.com
    blog.eastmans.com
    www.wingmen.us

  7. #105
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    Moderator comments on a joke thread, joke thread dies...
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  8. #106
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    Best thread dead, bummer.

  9. #107
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    Think everyone is hunting... I hope it will get rolling again when guys get bored.

  10. #108
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    just trying to respect mod wishes and keep it clean.

    Ten Reasons Why Dogs Are Better Pets Than Cats.

    1. Dogs will tilt their heads and try to understand every word you say. Cats will ignore you and take a nap.

    2. Cats look silly on a leash.

    3. When you come home from work, your dog will be happy and lick your face. Cats will still be mad at you for leaving in the first place. (of coarse one should keep in mind that they have also spent the day licking their balls!)pukeface

    4. Dogs will give you unconditional love until the day they die. Cats will make you pay for every mistake you've ever made since the day you were born.

    5. A dog knows when you're sad. And he'll try to comfort you. Cats don't care how you feel, as long as you remember where the can opener is.

    6. Dogs will bring you your slippers. Cats will drop a dead mouse in your slippers.

    7. When you take them for a ride, dogs will sit on the seat next to you. Cats have to have their own private basket, or they won't go at all.

    8. Dogs will come when you call them. And they'll be happy. Cats will have someone take a message and get back to you.

    9. Dogs will play fetch with you all day long. The only thing cats will play with all day long are small rodents or bugs, preferably ones that look like they're in pain.

    10. Dogs will wake you up if the house is on fire. Cats will quietly sneak out the back door.
    AS GOES THE CHURCH, SO GOES THE NATION

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  12. #109
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    Confucius say,
    man who run in front of bus, - tired.
    but man who run behind bus -exhausted.
    AS GOES THE CHURCH, SO GOES THE NATION

  13. #110
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    Quote Originally Posted by nv-hunter View Post
    If only lolClick image for larger version. 

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Size:	42.6 KB 
ID:	19561
    When I die I hope my wife doesn't sell all my guns for what I told her I paid for them!!
    Colorado Cowboy
    Cowboy Action Shooter; Endowment Life Member-NRA, NRA certified Range Safety Officer, Pistol Instructor, Rifle Instructor, RMEF, Boone & Crockett Club.
    The Original Rocket Scientist-Retired
    "My Father always considered a walk in the mountains as the equivalent of church going."
    Aldous Huxley

 

 
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