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Thread: jocularity

  1. #421
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    I told my son "you will marry the girl I choose"

    He said "No!"
    I told him "She is Bill Gate's daughter"
    He said "Ok"
    I called Bill Gates and said "I want your daughter to marry my son"
    Bill Gates said "No"
    I told Bill Gates "My son is the CEO of World Bank.
    Bill Gates said "Ok"
    I called the president of World Bank and asked him to make my son the CEO.
    He said "No"
    I told him "My son is Bill Gate's son in law.
    He said "Ok"

    And this, ladies and gentlemen, is how Politics work!
    AS GOES THE CHURCH, SO GOES THE NATION

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  3. #422
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    Squirrel infestation

    > The Presbyterian church
    > called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel
    > infestation.
    > After much prayer and consideration, they concluded the
    > squirrels were
    > predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere
    > with God's divine will. >
    >
    > At the Baptist church
    > the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery. The
    > deacons met and
    > decided to put a water-slide on the baptistery and let the
    > squirrels drown
    > themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and,
    > unfortunately, knew
    > instinctively how to swim so twice as many squirrels showed
    > up the following week.>
    >
    > The Lutheran church
    > decided that they were not in a position to harm any of
    > God's creatures.
    > So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist Church.
    >
    > Two weeks
    > later the squirrels
    > were back when the Baptists took down the water-slide.
    >
    > But the Catholic church
    > came up with a very creative strategy! They baptized all the
    > squirrels and made them members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.
    >
    >
    > Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue;
    > they took the first squirrel and circumcised him. They haven't seen a squirrel since.
    If you don't care where you are, you are not lost....

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  5. #423
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    If you don't care where you are, you are not lost....

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  7. #424
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    Mexican word of the day: Hotel

    Trump paid the porn star $130,000 to keep quiet, but the hotel everyone
    AS GOES THE CHURCH, SO GOES THE NATION

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  9. #425
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    Typical cops. They caught me running with a bag of money, but where were they when someone was stealing my getaway car?
    AS GOES THE CHURCH, SO GOES THE NATION

  10. #426
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    Mr Bear and Mr rabbit,,,

    Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit live in the same forest, but they don't like each other. One day, they come across a golden frog who offers them three wishes each. Mr. Bear wishes that all the other bears in the forest were female. Mr. Rabbit wishes for a crash helmet. Mr. Bear's second wish is that all the bears in the neighboring forests were female as well. Mr. Rabbit wishes for a motorcycle. Mr. Bear's final wish is that all the other bears in the world were female, leaving him the only male bear in the world. Mr. Rabbit revs the engine of his motorcycle and says, "I wish that Mr. Bear was gay!" and rides off.
    AS GOES THE CHURCH, SO GOES THE NATION

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  12. #427
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    MR smith told his wife that kids shouldn't get participation ribbons when they loose; so Mrs. Smith took down his Confederate flag.

    Trying like hell to live the dream,Nomad

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  14. #428
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    Quote Originally Posted by dustin ray View Post
    MR smith told his wife that kids shouldn't get participation ribbons when they loose; so Mrs. Smith took down his Confederate flag.


    Coming from the north and now living in Georgia. I find this very funny.

    The war is still brewing down here.....its a shame. My father-in-law doesn't carry his musket around but I just know he has a uniform hiding in one of his closets...lol

    When he calls me a Yankee I always remind him that they might have won if they could have been able to read the directions on the maps.... I still dont think he gets the pun thats intended.

  15. #429
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    Quote Originally Posted by mallardsx2 View Post
    Coming from the north and now living in Georgia. I find this very funny.

    The war is still brewing down here.....its a shame. My father-in-law doesn't carry his musket around but I just know he has a uniform hiding in one of his closets...lol

    When he calls me a Yankee I always remind him that they might have won if they could have been able to read the directions on the maps.... I still dont think he gets the pun thats intended.
    them southerners wouldn't be so stressed out all the time if they followed the yankees example an tugged one out.
    AS GOES THE CHURCH, SO GOES THE NATION

  16. #430
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    My boss said he was going to fire the

    employee with the worst posture. I have a hunch it might be me.
    AS GOES THE CHURCH, SO GOES THE NATION

 

 
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