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Thread: jocularity

  1. #151
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    hopefully, this makes you laugh.
    respect the spectra!
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails 20171116_083713.jpg  

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  3. #152
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    i'm surprised that lil ol kia can handle the weight.

    whose the chick that kilt the moose?
    AS GOES THE CHURCH, SO GOES THE NATION

  4. #153
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    Overheard at the Psychiatrist's Office

    "So, tell me again why you resent your parents, Lesby Anne..."
    AS GOES THE CHURCH, SO GOES THE NATION

  5. #154
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    There were eleven people hanging onto a rope that came down from an airplane. Ten were blonde, and one was a brunette. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn't, the rope would break and everyone would die.

    No one could decide who should go, so finally the brunette said, "I'll get off."

    After a really touching speech from the brunette saying she would get off, all of the blondes started clapping
    AS GOES THE CHURCH, SO GOES THE NATION

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  7. #155
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    A mean lookin' cowboy was sitting by himself in a Saloon. He was a pretty intimidating sight, so no one bothered him as he downed a few whiskey and beers. After chugging his last drink he slammed some coins on the tabletop and got up to leave. Right after he left though he came storming back in and said,

    "Listen up you mangey bastards" and everyone, terrified, immediately fell silent.

    "Someone done took my horse. Now here's what's gunna happen. I'm gunna order me another drink, finish it, and when I walk back outside this time my horse BETTER be there or else I'm gunna do what I did in Texas... and believe me, I don't want to do what I did in Texas!"

    Like he said, after he finished his drink he walked outside and sure enough, someone had returned his horse. He was getting on it when one of the bar patrons ran up to him and sheepishly asked,

    "Sir I don't mean to bother you but I just have to know, what did you do in Texas?"

    The cowboy looked at him square in the eyes and replied,

    "I walked home".
    AS GOES THE CHURCH, SO GOES THE NATION

  8. #156
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    A man from an eastern big city decided to leave it all behind and move to a remote ranch out west. His nearest neighbor was 10 miles away. After a few months of solitude his day was interrupted by the sound of a horse approaching his ranch house. His nearest neighbor rode up and introduced himself and welcomed him to the area. He told him he was going to have a party at his ranch to welcome him to the area. "There'll be drinking, dancing, gambling and wild sex". After thinking about it, the newcomer asked "What should I wear?" The rancher replied " It don't matter, it's just gonna be the two of us."

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  10. #157
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    A medieval Knight had to go fight a great battle

    So......he fitted his wife with a Chastity Belt and gave his best friend the key.

    "If I don't return after a year, release her so she can live a normal life"
    he told the friend as he handled over the key. then the Knight jumped on his horse and rode off to battle.

    An hour later, a horse rushed up behind him. It was his best friend.

    "You gave me the Wrong Key!"
    AS GOES THE CHURCH, SO GOES THE NATION

  11. #158
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    Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert, near a gas station that was closed for the night.
    They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, "Greetings earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader."
    The gas pump, of course, did not respond.
    The younger alien became angry at the lack of response.
    The older alien said, "I'd calm down if I were you."
    The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again, there was no response.
    Pissed off at the haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and gruffly said, "Greetings, earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader or I will fire."
    The older alien again warned his comrade, saying, "You probably don't want to do that. l really think that will make him mad."
    "Rubbish," replied the cocky young alien. He aimed his weapon and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared toward them and blew the younger alien off his feet and threw him in a burnt, smoking mass, about 200 yds. away, in a cactus patch.
    A half hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he refocused his 3 eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big green head.
    "What a ferocious creature," exclaimed the young, fried alien. "He damn near killed me. How did you know he was so dangerous?"
    The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend and replied, "If there's one thing I've learned during my intergalactic travels, it's that you never mess with a guy who can loop his penis over his shoulder twice and then stick it in his ear!"
    AS GOES THE CHURCH, SO GOES THE NATION

  12. #159
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    Two good old boys from the south were driving a truck through the back roads of West Virginia when they came to an overpass with a sign which read, "CLEARANCE: 11' 3". They got out and measured their rig, which was 12 feet 4 inches tall. "What do you think?" said one as they climbed back into the cab of the truck . The driver looked to his left then to his right, checked the rear view mirrors, then shifted into first gear. "Not a cop in sight. Let's take a chance," he said
    AS GOES THE CHURCH, SO GOES THE NATION

  13. #160
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    A hillbilly girl went out on a date with a guy by the name of Clarence. About an hour later she came back home with her hair messed up and her dress torn. Her Daddy asked what happened. "Oh, Pa Clarence tried to have his way with me!" Pa "That's it boys. Grab yer guns!" They piled into the back of the old pickup truck with guns bristling. As they bounced down the dirt road they came to a bridge. Pa locks up the brakes and they all pile up against the cab as the truck comes to a stop. "What's the matter Pa? I thought we were going to even the score with Clarence." Pa "No son, lookie at that sign on the bridge. It says-Clarence 11'3". He's too big for us!"

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